Fort's Cancer Sux!!

OU Rugby Alumni weekend 2006 Recap -

**I suck at posting pictures on this thing!! - Here are some of the co-horts who have been shaving their heads as homage to my battle....Junior - (fellow OU grad and Animations bartender, and Kevin Kauffman (Catie's bf/Kickball phenom) Thanks guys? McSkinny why you breakin' my heart??

Well, this was our 6th alumni weekend and I must say it was quite eventful. For those of you worried that I shouldnt be partying too hard, dont worry. I was a good girl and stayed in Friday night - and let me say explictly JUST how hard it was to drive Stacy, Casey & Kristen uptown to the Cats Eye, only to drive away and head back to the hotel. It was a gut wrenching move but it had to be done. Alumni weekend its all about saving yourself for Saturday, unless your name is Casey Schnieber, and in that case, you head out Friday with every intention of buying the young guys so many shots that it affects their preformance the next day, and at 430am, find yourself having had the tables turned on you, soaked with so much alcohol that you can barely find a pulse to play the next day, let alone show up to the party. We'll get em next year Casey!

I was a little slow to get going Saturday morning, but soon found the trip worthwhile when watching the womens alumni ten's match. One of the womens team borrowed one of the guys to play scrumhalf (non-rugby people think all-time qb)....he did quite well, but made it very obvious that he too, along with Casey (and many others) had partied a little too hard the night before. After a beautiful breakaway at mid-field, this young gentleman (a Regan I belive) scored for his womens team, and stood in the try zone and puked so loud and violently that the entire sideline erupted in laughter. If I wasnt laughing so hard I may have puked myself. ( I honestly havent laughed that hard since Tony posted that picture of patrick with the porn-stashe circa 1999)

Anyhoo, the womens game was fairly uneventul, I dont even know who won. The mens game was a great match and despite having Casey back in the lineup, the old boys couldn't get it together to post a win on the OU club. Well played though. Pat Kish and Stetson I belive were the unofficial men of the match. This is where it gets good. Or gross. I mean DISGUSTING and FOUL....

So we head over to the Mens rugby house - a stroke of luck for the club: an old frat house where SEVENTEEN ruggers are living. SEVENTEEN. The only topic of discussion that went on at the party within all groups was how vile this place was. Here are a few highlights of the house:

- numerous windows flat out MISSING - just gone. no screens, sheets, etc. Very rustic
- One of the rooms with both missing windows had a classy venus fly trap strip hanging from the light fixture. COVERED in flies, with about 8 or so still contemplating its gooey lovelyness. Word in the parking lot was that the standing freezer that was in the room, a few months ago had 80 POUNDS of venison in it and the freezer was not cold enough....you let your imagination take it from there.
- The bathroom was best described by stacy as a "Nasty campground bathroom", complete with wood toilet stalls and three standing showers, one which was out of order due to broken glass on the floor of the shower stall. Do you automatically think of DIE HARD 2? I did.
- The kitchen. Oh the kitchen. Imagine a nice big kitchen with a big three sink stainless steel sink, two fridges, plenty of counter space. Now go out and take a 2 week old bag of trash and put a slit in the bottom. Swing it around the kitchen so food and trash goes flying everywhere. Bust out another window. Take three week old half eaten chicken wings and throw them about. on the counters, in the stagnant sink water, on the floor, anywhere you can think of. Now take a few sausages that literally look like turds and toss them about the floor. Throw one on the stove for good measure. Finally, Take a bag of dirt and sprinkle it on the floor. Hose it down a little bit and let it sit for a few months. come back. This was the kitchen. Thanks for cleaning things up for the alumni guys.
- most of the bedroom doors were locked but there were a few that were open. Kates husband Sean and I let ourselves into one and it was pretty nasty. But for all we know it was the cleanest room in the house. Sean made a comment that was pretty foul but unsuitable for this blog. But if you ask me Ill tell you. It was funny.
-Stacy, Stetson, Jami and I ventured downstairs and were suprised to find that it really was the cleanest part of the house. One of the guys who lived there came down and we just started blasting on him about the house. He actually seemed offended which suprised us.

Stacy: "We were just commenting on how the basement is cleaner than the whole house"
OU Rugger: (with attitude) Really?
Stacy: "Have you SEEN the rest of your house????"
OU Rugger: (with more attitude) "Well, So and so owns it"

*disclaimer: Said slumlord will be refered to as "so and so" to protect the innocent, but some of you might figure it out....

As it turns out, "so and sos" son is a good friend of mine from OU. He's a local, and just opened a bar uptown with his brother. Needless to say, we definitely had to make pit stop there on our way to the Cats Eye. I think it was Kate, Jami, Stacy & I.

So we go into this bar and "So and so's" son is working, we get his attention and he comes out for some hugs, and I proceed to tell him the funny story about the nasty rugby house and the rugger who actually seemed to try and blame the damages on the owner, "so and so"....

So and So's son just laughed, and was beckoned into some sort of utility closet he was standing by, just sort of leaned back into it to talk to someone. Thats when Stacy, in her best Fortener outdoor voice, leaned over to the other girls and said with no apologies, "THATS THE SLUMLORDS SON"..... So and so's son pulled back from the closet and pointed at Stacy to let her know that he heard what she said. We all kind of laughed uncomfortably and left. I thought that was pretty funny.

Basically ended the night at the Cats Eye, I made some stops at my old places of employment to see the gangs at Souvlakis & Seven Sauces and really left kind of early.

Woke up Sunday and headed to Casa Cantina for the annual "Lets see how many ruggers we can cram into the place and piss off every hippie that works there" we succeeded of course. The chick left my meal off the bill that Jami, Kristen and I shared, and I told Jami we needed to tell the waitress. Jami: "Screw it, you have cancer, its free" I insisted to Jami that I absolutely DID NOT need to be f**king with Karma at a time like this, in the Casa "Happiness and Free Love" Cantina of all places, so, like the shifty and shady Communications expert she is (we're degreed you know), beckons the waitress. Her semantics were an A+.

Jami: "Um excuse me ma'am? Yes, um, is this the correct bill for all of us? Oh it is? Are you sure? Ok then, THANKS!"

Not, "Um, ma'am, you left her burritos off the bill" See what 4 years of communication studies can get you? About $8.00.

We spent the next hour shopping, I got a hat and some tye-dyed bandanas from the head shop...when I pulled them out of the bag when we got in the car they REEKED of patchouli (Yes people, Patchouli REEKS) and I almost barfed. Gotta wash those.

On a cancer note, my hair was falling out in clumps all weekend and I had developed a pretty nasty (or NAERNTY if you wish) bald spot on my head and COULD NOT wait to get home and buzz it. It was gone about 15 min after I walked through the door. I buzzed the front, J-mac took over the back and I was honestly happy to have it gone. My head is quite cute and I look spectacular in a do-rag. At least thats what you're supposed to tell me. Thats all for nizzy.