Ok - so this is my second post of the day but I posted and then got Stetsons email with all his alumni pics and I just couldnt leave you all hanging over the extended weekend with out seeing three...YES THREE pictures of the nastiest rugby house ever.... for your viewing pleasure....(dont forget to read below for todays actual post)

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!

Ok so its friday, and I woke up, probably the happiest chemo patient in the country...maybe the whole world... I was just PUMPED to get some more cancer killing toxins back in my veins. Ive felt so much better since my last chemo - I seriously couldn't wait for more.

So I woke up and I had to remember to take my scrapbook I made a few months ago with me because A) I was going out for coffee with laura after chemo and she's in it so I wanted to show her and B) Rodney's 5th grade class is doing scrapbooking and he wanted to use mine to show his class. Im sure their scrapbooks will look excactly like mine with the exeption of everyone in the pictures NOT holding bud lights and looking completely trashed. (just kidding its not that bad...except for this one picture of Alisa...classic)

*and also for those of you who have seen said scrapbook, dont worry - I mentioned to Rodney not to show them the picture of Pauly & Mongo where their shirts say, respectively: "I watch A LOT of Porn, Whats your excuse" and "Non-Practicing Homicidal Maniac"... I mean, you dont start wearing those novelty T-shirts till AT LEAST the 6th or 7th grade!!!

So anyway, I asked mom if she had a tote bag for my scrapbook because she usually has a gajillion of them laying around from all the Picture Book confrences she goes to with all her teacher friends - but of course, we couldnt find one so I just used this paper bag.

I get to chemo and Im PUMPED! But also, a little sniffly. Ive had some sinus thing going on for the last few days. Maybe just a little head cold. No biggie right? WRONG. They take my blood work and the nurse comes back and lets me know that my "Counts are looking a little Poopy today" Apparently you get chemo if your counts are shitty, crappy or dumpy, but poopy requires a doctors notification before they'll pump you full of the toxic goodness.

Ok, just as Im trying really hard to hold back the tears, one of the nurses comes in with a free gift from one of the drug reps.....you guess it!!! I FRIGGING TOTE BAG!!! Its as if the chemo Gods were smiling upon me. And it was filled with a fleece blanket for these chilly 87 degree days coming up, a fleece hat, little leather binder, pocket poker and some hand sanitizer.

Now many of you have heard the story of when I was signing up for the Race for a Cure walk right? Well, I just couldnt resist using some old material from three years ago and announced very loudly in the treatment room that "Yeah..This cancer thing is really working out for me!!" The nurses got a kick out of it but again, not a lot of fanfare from the 8 other patients in the room.

But I was on a roll and added, "You know, the first thing I thought when I found out about the recurrance was, Sweet! More free stuff!" Again, NOTHING from the peanut gallery. I keep for getting that when people laugh about these things I say, Im usually in a bar. And they're drunk.

Speaking of which - Another funny story I forgot to tell about alumni weekend. I was playing it safe when I got to the Cats eye and a bottle of Smirnoff ice looked pretty innocent. Another alumni guy walked up and started giving me a hard time for not drinking beer. Not feeling like going into details, I just said I hadnt been feeling well and this just "seemed like the way to go", to which he put his arm around me and replied, "Honey, you just need a Bloody Mary, that'll cure whatever you've got!" Ouch. Am I going to go there??? Of course I am!!

"Really? It will cure my breast cancer?"

Awkard pause. Exit an uncomfortable alumni rugger.

You know, I have to say, If I can just make one person uncomfortable a day, then its all been worth it.

Ok, back to today. So they come back and tell me that the doctor (not my doctor, hes out today, and dammit I swear if he was there I would have harrassed him in to letting me have it but whatever) WILL NOT let me have chemo and that I have to come back in a WEEK. Great. At this point I think my work is going to start thinking Im lying bc i thought I was getting chemo for this and LAST friday, and now NEXT friday. I was really pissed and I told all the nurses that I was going to "trash them in my blog"....but of course I wouldnt do that! I love them all and they put up with my shit so, Brenda! I was just kidding!!!!

:)

So after wards laura (friemuth) McCall picked me up and forced me to go to Starbucks because she's not wired enough off her own human nature. Im anti-Starbucks for the record but its a drug to her and she was paying so my favorite gas station coffee was out. We sat at starbucks and talked about our mutual health curses and her little brother who will be a starting varsity offensive lineman at Alter who, the last time I saw him, was a violent four year old obesessed with dinosars. And then I convinced her to go to Fairmont to check the place out. We harassed Robertson and Jonnie and made a visit to the famous Bill Buirley.

Buirley is always a sure thing when it comes to visiting teachers because he's NEVER teaching. In his defense, he WAS showing "Multiplicity" to his class, which I guess is kinda like math. (IF any Admin are reading this - it was also the seniors last day so please dont fire him)

Laura and I were going to hit Kiln'Time where we were going to paint mugs for each other, but then her husband called and informed her that her little girl, Mallory had thrown his phone in the toilet. kids. So she took me to pick up my car that was getting a desperately needed oil change and then I headed to Moraine Meadows to visit mom and drop the scrapbook off to rodney.

My mom was in the middle of reading the classes submissions where they had to complete old wives tales...its supposed to be cute, but of the 30 or so that she read, (I know the kids wont be reading this blog) 99% of them were absolutely stupid. I know, they're just 3rd graders, but come on! I dont even know why she read the ones that said: "HASTE MAKES_______________", becuase quite frankly, I DONT REALLY EVEN KNOW WHAT "haste" means so how are these third graders supposed to know?

Albeit, there were two that were pretty funny - although none of the kids laughed at those of course:

"Dont put off today, WHAT YOU CAN PUT OFF TILL NEXT WEEK"
and
"A penny saved, A NICKEL SPENT"

I got to meet a lot of the new staff members and I think it was important that I show up all bald to prove that she hasnt just been skipping school and making up this "sick daughter"

Now Im back at their place getting ready to head off to my CHI-GONG retreat for three days in Indiana. Im pretty excited and I guess the bright side is that it will help me get better so I can have chemo next friday. Hopefully Ill remember to steal moms dig. camera so I can take pictures to post when I get back, because I know how much you all want to see pictures of people you dont know. Keep your fingers crossed!!!!

Have a happy weekend and Ill be back on Monday!

:)

ONE MORE! Thanks Kev. You look hot. I dont care what everyone else said.

Well, its Thursday, but kind of my Friday - Im off tomorrow for chemo. Belive it or not im kind of excited to go. Not counting the first few days and the mouth sores, Ive felt SOOO much better since Ive been on it. I went up to Winton Woods yesterday and took a walk. First time in a month! Although I wussed out and only went a mile. Im working on it.

After chemo tomorrow Im going to breakfast with Laura, a friend from HS, and then we're hitting up Kiln'Time to paint some pottery. Then its back to my parents place for a few hours and then im off to the Oakwood Retreat Center in Muncie, IN for a weekend Chi-gong retreat. I have no idea what to expect but it should be a nice little post-chemo getaway. Ill come home Sunday afternoon and head back to Dayton - Cookout at the Forteners to celebrate Dad & G-pa Roterts Birthdays. Dad you're gonna love my present!!

Thats it for now. Ill let you know how the weekend went. Sorry I have nothing exciting or funny to share today. Im still kinda tired.

Here's a few more pics to share - Some of you out of staters have never seen my beefcake of a husband - see how Im just a magnet to his manly chest?

The other pic is the HANDMADE quilt that my uber-talented mother in law made for me out of all the scarves I wore when I went through chemo the first time. Im having a hell of a time taking it a part to get those scarves back.....JUST KIDDING DIANA!!!!
xoxox

G'bye Guys!


Here we are, in our last few days of glory, working hard! Thomas, Me, Reggie, Sullivan & Russ. Ill miss you guys! Be nice to Stephanie!!

OU Rugby Alumni weekend 2006 Recap -

**I suck at posting pictures on this thing!! - Here are some of the co-horts who have been shaving their heads as homage to my battle....Junior - (fellow OU grad and Animations bartender, and Kevin Kauffman (Catie's bf/Kickball phenom) Thanks guys? McSkinny why you breakin' my heart??

Well, this was our 6th alumni weekend and I must say it was quite eventful. For those of you worried that I shouldnt be partying too hard, dont worry. I was a good girl and stayed in Friday night - and let me say explictly JUST how hard it was to drive Stacy, Casey & Kristen uptown to the Cats Eye, only to drive away and head back to the hotel. It was a gut wrenching move but it had to be done. Alumni weekend its all about saving yourself for Saturday, unless your name is Casey Schnieber, and in that case, you head out Friday with every intention of buying the young guys so many shots that it affects their preformance the next day, and at 430am, find yourself having had the tables turned on you, soaked with so much alcohol that you can barely find a pulse to play the next day, let alone show up to the party. We'll get em next year Casey!

I was a little slow to get going Saturday morning, but soon found the trip worthwhile when watching the womens alumni ten's match. One of the womens team borrowed one of the guys to play scrumhalf (non-rugby people think all-time qb)....he did quite well, but made it very obvious that he too, along with Casey (and many others) had partied a little too hard the night before. After a beautiful breakaway at mid-field, this young gentleman (a Regan I belive) scored for his womens team, and stood in the try zone and puked so loud and violently that the entire sideline erupted in laughter. If I wasnt laughing so hard I may have puked myself. ( I honestly havent laughed that hard since Tony posted that picture of patrick with the porn-stashe circa 1999)

Anyhoo, the womens game was fairly uneventul, I dont even know who won. The mens game was a great match and despite having Casey back in the lineup, the old boys couldn't get it together to post a win on the OU club. Well played though. Pat Kish and Stetson I belive were the unofficial men of the match. This is where it gets good. Or gross. I mean DISGUSTING and FOUL....

So we head over to the Mens rugby house - a stroke of luck for the club: an old frat house where SEVENTEEN ruggers are living. SEVENTEEN. The only topic of discussion that went on at the party within all groups was how vile this place was. Here are a few highlights of the house:

- numerous windows flat out MISSING - just gone. no screens, sheets, etc. Very rustic
- One of the rooms with both missing windows had a classy venus fly trap strip hanging from the light fixture. COVERED in flies, with about 8 or so still contemplating its gooey lovelyness. Word in the parking lot was that the standing freezer that was in the room, a few months ago had 80 POUNDS of venison in it and the freezer was not cold enough....you let your imagination take it from there.
- The bathroom was best described by stacy as a "Nasty campground bathroom", complete with wood toilet stalls and three standing showers, one which was out of order due to broken glass on the floor of the shower stall. Do you automatically think of DIE HARD 2? I did.
- The kitchen. Oh the kitchen. Imagine a nice big kitchen with a big three sink stainless steel sink, two fridges, plenty of counter space. Now go out and take a 2 week old bag of trash and put a slit in the bottom. Swing it around the kitchen so food and trash goes flying everywhere. Bust out another window. Take three week old half eaten chicken wings and throw them about. on the counters, in the stagnant sink water, on the floor, anywhere you can think of. Now take a few sausages that literally look like turds and toss them about the floor. Throw one on the stove for good measure. Finally, Take a bag of dirt and sprinkle it on the floor. Hose it down a little bit and let it sit for a few months. come back. This was the kitchen. Thanks for cleaning things up for the alumni guys.
- most of the bedroom doors were locked but there were a few that were open. Kates husband Sean and I let ourselves into one and it was pretty nasty. But for all we know it was the cleanest room in the house. Sean made a comment that was pretty foul but unsuitable for this blog. But if you ask me Ill tell you. It was funny.
-Stacy, Stetson, Jami and I ventured downstairs and were suprised to find that it really was the cleanest part of the house. One of the guys who lived there came down and we just started blasting on him about the house. He actually seemed offended which suprised us.

Stacy: "We were just commenting on how the basement is cleaner than the whole house"
OU Rugger: (with attitude) Really?
Stacy: "Have you SEEN the rest of your house????"
OU Rugger: (with more attitude) "Well, So and so owns it"

*disclaimer: Said slumlord will be refered to as "so and so" to protect the innocent, but some of you might figure it out....

As it turns out, "so and sos" son is a good friend of mine from OU. He's a local, and just opened a bar uptown with his brother. Needless to say, we definitely had to make pit stop there on our way to the Cats Eye. I think it was Kate, Jami, Stacy & I.

So we go into this bar and "So and so's" son is working, we get his attention and he comes out for some hugs, and I proceed to tell him the funny story about the nasty rugby house and the rugger who actually seemed to try and blame the damages on the owner, "so and so"....

So and So's son just laughed, and was beckoned into some sort of utility closet he was standing by, just sort of leaned back into it to talk to someone. Thats when Stacy, in her best Fortener outdoor voice, leaned over to the other girls and said with no apologies, "THATS THE SLUMLORDS SON"..... So and so's son pulled back from the closet and pointed at Stacy to let her know that he heard what she said. We all kind of laughed uncomfortably and left. I thought that was pretty funny.

Basically ended the night at the Cats Eye, I made some stops at my old places of employment to see the gangs at Souvlakis & Seven Sauces and really left kind of early.

Woke up Sunday and headed to Casa Cantina for the annual "Lets see how many ruggers we can cram into the place and piss off every hippie that works there" we succeeded of course. The chick left my meal off the bill that Jami, Kristen and I shared, and I told Jami we needed to tell the waitress. Jami: "Screw it, you have cancer, its free" I insisted to Jami that I absolutely DID NOT need to be f**king with Karma at a time like this, in the Casa "Happiness and Free Love" Cantina of all places, so, like the shifty and shady Communications expert she is (we're degreed you know), beckons the waitress. Her semantics were an A+.

Jami: "Um excuse me ma'am? Yes, um, is this the correct bill for all of us? Oh it is? Are you sure? Ok then, THANKS!"

Not, "Um, ma'am, you left her burritos off the bill" See what 4 years of communication studies can get you? About $8.00.

We spent the next hour shopping, I got a hat and some tye-dyed bandanas from the head shop...when I pulled them out of the bag when we got in the car they REEKED of patchouli (Yes people, Patchouli REEKS) and I almost barfed. Gotta wash those.

On a cancer note, my hair was falling out in clumps all weekend and I had developed a pretty nasty (or NAERNTY if you wish) bald spot on my head and COULD NOT wait to get home and buzz it. It was gone about 15 min after I walked through the door. I buzzed the front, J-mac took over the back and I was honestly happy to have it gone. My head is quite cute and I look spectacular in a do-rag. At least thats what you're supposed to tell me. Thats all for nizzy.

I am such a jerk! All that writing yesterday and I totally forgot the most important thing - I just wanted to say thanks to all the people who have sent cards, and food, emails and happy thoughts. I do appreciate it all. Special apologies go out to all of you who have left messages on my cell phone that have gone unanswered. The chemo-related mouth sores sucked and it just hurt to open my mouth and talk. I was left with only grunts and mmm's....Im slowly trying to call back everyone who's left me messages but I cant do it all at once - For one, its typically the same conversation over and over, and secondly I have no attention span and will sometimes become engrossed in the television mid-conversation. Im just rude like that. I cant help it. But Im trying! So please dont be offended. Im working on it.
Thanks also to my mom - she's been quite little personal assistant, taking notes at all my appointments, promoting heavy gas consumption going back and forth to the 'nati 3-4 times a week, and basically just being there every step of the way to make sure Im taking my pills, doing my chi-gong and trying any and everything that might help the situation.
And a special thanks too goes to Jennifer - she and my mom came down wednesday to clean our whole house and Jennifer cleaned the inside of our microwave, what was probably John and I's dirtiest little secret. It was gross and Im embarassed that she saw it and even more embarassed that actually cleaned it. An ACTUAL MEAL could have been made from the scrapings of the inside of that microwave and I just wanted to give a special hats off to Jennifer for not being "weird" around me after the whole incident.
Im off to Athens for the weekend - Talk to you next week!

Ok - Im starting this blog for an number of reasons....first of all, Im pretty lucky to have all these people who are concerned about whats going on with me, coupled with the fact that I really hate talking on the phone. (just ask ang, I always have)

So this is my little way of keeping everyone updated on the goings on of my re-match with good ol' breast cancer. Im not sure why it came back. Friemuth (Sorry-McCall), who's going through her own health related debachle and I decided that someone from high school put a curse on us. When we find you, we're kicking your ass. Seriously.

I guess it all started when anything crappy happens - when GOOD things were happening! I had just gotten this great promotion at work at the beginning of the year - mananaging another one of our warehouses in Cincinnati, a successful operation that just needed that perfect customer service shmoozer - ME! I replaced Ruth, who was retiring, and really left some big shoes to fill. I was loving the customers & the co-workers and especially being done at four!!

But that wasnt the only good thing that was happening....John and I had finally found a house! Great neighborhood, HUGE backyard with a firepit, nearly maintenece free landscaping, just all around awesome. The month we put a bid on it though, I starting wigging out. Bad. I dont know why I was stressing so bad, but I was giving myself panic attacks over the dumbest stuff. Just worrying about EVERYTHING....would we have enough for the closing, could we really afford this, what would our Cinergy bill be? Needless to say everything worked out, but once we were in the house, I just started feeling tired. And it wasnt getting better. I kind of just chalked it up to my body adjusting to two new environments - a new warehouse and a new house.

But something was wrong. Everytime I would go up the stairs to the bedroom, I was out of breath. Now any of my Cincy-Dayton rugby teammates will tell you that I was never the fittest one on the team, but after five steps I was breathing like I had just finished a 5K (YES! Ive actually ran a few) Then I was getting some weird side pains that put me in the ER twice. The second time I was actually admitted and my mom came down for the day and they ran all kinds of tests on me with no conclusions. The only thing they advised: Go see your oncologist.

The breathing was getting worse and I had an MRI, two CAT scans, and a PET scan. The results were not good. The cancer has spread to the lungs, possibly bones, and possibly in the pelvic region. I had my first chemo on May 5th - Mike & jens wedding. Then I was to start my oral chemo the next day. Xeloda - three pills in the morning, three at night. I was ok after chemo. Went out and got a new outfit for the wedding, got to the wedding and decided I better have a good time while I could before the chemo set in. OOPS! Dont drink five beers after chemo! I like to think of myself as a sacrificial lamb to the partying Gods. If I have to drink a few beers to come to the conclusion that beer after chemo is bad, in order save others from the hell of the day after....then so be it. Im a proud volunteer.

John's parents are in Ireland for three weeks. We were just going to wait to tell them until they got home, but John mentioned we might get better gifts If we told them. Plus with my hair falling out again, I wanted some good celtic bandana type things so it was really a no-brainer. I emailed them and VOILA! Got the most beautiful planter a few days later and a confirmation that our shopping requests would be fulfilled. Ive really become an expert with the cancer card.

That weekend SUCKED. I woke up dehydrated, begging for a Poweraide. Had a fever of about 103, just felt absolutely awful. Post 21st birthday awful. John had to get back to Cincinnati for the Old Boys game since he was cooking (8 pans of Chicken Enchilada Casserole..mmm) - I guess the good thing was that I was able to give Pam 2 solid days of nursing my sorry ass. She didnt want to let me leave!

I did finally go back Sunday and went to work Monday and it was the worst work day of my life. I should have been there. There was La-La land, and then there was me, about 10 miles over. I just wanted to go home but sucked it up, which seems to be my little mantra, till four. Tuesday was better. I had gotten plenty of rest after work on Monday and drove up to the Cracker Barrel in Middletown to meet mom for dinner and then go to the Chi-Gong class. Check it out: http://www.chilel.com/ It was reccomended to me the first time I was diagnosed, but I guess I was too busy with trying to get back to my old life that I kind of ignored anything else. This time is a little different though.

My mom ran into an old high school friend who had been practicing this and knew of alot of success stories. I was willing to try anything! She had come over the weekend after my first chemo to tell us about it and to walk us through some of the motions. She left me with a book full of testimonials and a video where I could do it on my own. Ive been doing it on my own to the video every day and went to the class this week. It was great. And Ive been feeling better everyday that Ive been doing it.

Ok Im jumping around.

So that first week I went back to work, I met mom for dinner on Tuesday (and mentioned to her NUMEROUS times, "now, you know exactly what time this starts, right??? Right??) So when we get there, everyones already in mid-chi. She said it started at 730 and it started at SIX!!!! Thanks Pam!! Anyway, she felt so guilty that she wanted to buy me some books, some funny stuff I could read when I was feeling crappy. Who am I to stop her from buying my love? As long as it makes her feel better. Thats what Im here for. So I picked up some David Sedaris books I hadnt read and was happy and went home.

Big Mistake!

That was a little too much activity for the drugs I was on and Wednesday I was back up $hit creek w/out a paddle. This time I went to work, tired, glaring into my computer screen, accomplishing NOTHING. I called Vicky, my relief and went home. The chemo had started to cause sores in my mouth, and although I really should be focusing on eating healthy, all I wanted was a McDonalds Cheeseburger and vanilla shake. Angie called and said she was getting off around 11 ish and that she would pick me up the goods. She just works around the corner. So by noon, IM DROOLING for this food, too tired to get up for anything. ang finally shows up at TWO O'CLOCK......TWO O'CLOCK!!! Whatever ang, I forgive you. We sat up in bed watching soaps, and Angie made fun of my soaps and said how fake they were. I mentioned that HER soap once CLONED Reva and THEN gave her a "quick growing potion" where the cloned Reva grew from birth to an old woman dying of old age in a matter of about 60 episodes. WHAT-EVER.

I made it through the rest of the week ok, gradually feeling better every day, be it from the chemo or the Chi-Gong - who cares! I was though, a little worried about how this would effect me at work. I HAVE to be there, and it worried me that If I ever got sick from the chemo, what if my relief wouldnt be around? Commonwealth Inc to the rescue. Karen, the VP, visited me on Friday and told me they were moving me back to my old location, old job. This way, if I wasnt feeling good, I didnt have to get a last minute sub. They actually went as far as already having my replacement when she came in. I think she may have been worried that I would look at it as a demotion but I totally didnt. I was so relived that they took the steps to do this because Im so stubborn and would have lollygagged around the situation. Im happy with the change. I just didnt want to disappoint anyone.

This week has been better - The breathing is getting much better and today I was supposed to have chemo but apparently both my mom and I misunderstood Romer. I was only coming in to have blood tests. My Hemoglobin was low so I got a shot of something that burned like hell and was shot into a big wad of pinched fat from the back of my arm....(gotta do something about that)

Then mom and I went to First Watch, the offical post-chemo lunch location. Sorry dad. (he hates First Watch - they dont Fry ANYTHING.)

This weekend is OU Rugby alumni weekend and I didnt think Id be up for it but now that Im not going to be reeling from the chemo, Im a go!! (Much to the dismay of Donny & Pam) I promise not to hike up and down Athens hills and nto to spend too much time at the Cats Eye. But seriously, can you REALLY spend TOO MUCH time at the Cats Eye? I dont think so. I am a little bummed that John ended up having to work that weekend. He always has a good time sitting around, listening to the same OU war stories over, and over and over and over and over, again.....

Anyhoo, Ill be at work tomorrow. Ill post as often as I can, with any fun, crappy updates that might actually interest people.

Oh, my hair is kinda starting to fall out. just come out in clumps if I pull on it and more when im in the shower. That reminds me. we need to get a screen for the drain in our tub. That could cause some problems. Or maybe this weekend Ill make some crazy bet with a rookie - "Hey kid, do this shot and ILL SHAVE MY HEAD".....man, those alumni are WICKED CRAZY!!!!

ha ha. thats all for now.

(tap, tap).....Is this thing on??

Hey its Fort - Im going to start blogging the insanity that is my life. Stay tuned...I think im going to chemo tomorrow and then Ill dump all the exciting details once I get back to my folks place.