To save anyone else from leaving cryptic comments about my lackluster ability to post updates about my status, (even when I dont know it myself), Im on Doxil now. Its kind of like Adriamyacin (the "Red Devil", most hated chemo drug among bc surviors, hair loss, sickness, etc) but Dr. Romer described it as "Adriamyacin's Cousin"....Its still a red liquid but apparently the chemicals are in a lipid form, which Romer described as "grapes" ....like little pockets of drugs that target the tumor growth ONLY without wreaking havoc on the rest of your body. Virtually no Side effects, which, I know this sounds totally screwed up, but I sorta like the side effects, in that, even when im curled up in shitsville, Im thinking, "Well, its obviously killing the good stuff, it MUST be killing the bad too!"

But with this? Nothing. So I am a little wigged out, although I do feel like I have a cold coming on. Weird. The back pain is gone, but now my left hip is bothering me again. Time to bust out some positive CHI and start sweet talking my body in the mirror to straighten its ass up and get well again. Ive got to get a port put in next friday. My right arm's had about all it can take. Welcome back Qigong.....its been awhile.

Nick and I had an interesting one hour long conversation last night. I asked him if it was wrong that when I first heard of this satellite that is falling to earth, all I could think about was how much money I would get from the government if it fell on our house. Of course Id take my scrapbooks to work and some other sentimental stuff....but I think they'd definitely give you enough to by you a new house and at least a few million for pain and suffering.

Then Nick told me how he and Meredith had already decided how they would split up their winings if they won the lottery. (even though they dont play) Lets just say John and I would be well taken care of. We talked about a Mediterranean cruise and I suggested we just by a yacht for the whole extended family. I wont tell you how much Nick & Mere are going to give to us, but lets say its enough for us to by the yacht. Then we got into an argument about which one of us would by the yacht and we settled on them buying the yacht and us bringing the Captian & Coke.

Happy Friday.

Sorry - I dont have any chemo updates yet but Ill let you know. Im going back to Romer today and hopefully he's going to change up my treatments. But I have no idea. He didnt even know what he was going to to when he called me back. Back is starting to feel a little better but this hips/femur still stings every now and then. Im hoping it goes away like it did the last time but I guess time will tell. Sorry. I wasnt trying to hold back any info. Just waiting myself.

OH NO THEY DI-INT!!!!

(Everybodys always talkin bout whos on top- dont cross our path cause youre gonna get stomped!)

NKOTB recently posted some cryptic slide show on their website indicating that a reunion may be in order. My prediction is that they'll do a greatest hits tour and bank on the 30 something contingency that still pines after them.

I found out today that a friend of mine STILL keeps 2 of the GIANT NKOTB buttons on her desk at work. (No! She wasnt in special ed!) And a bunch of my hs friends are already bouncing emails off each other about catching one of the shows. Another friend still has that nagging urge to see them after missing one of their shows at Timberwolf at KI fifteen years ago.

Im here to tell you that I was NOT, read, NOT a huge NKOTB fan. I was guilty by association, as, if you didnt want to hang out with NKOTB fans from 6th grade thru 8th grade, you might as well forget having friends at all. Despite not having a massive crush on any of them, I did make it to one concert. I went with all the Ascension girls - Jody, Emily, Terri, Melissa, Sicily to name a few. Karen Franz drove us down to Cincinnati for this 'event of a lifetime'.....yeesh.

We get to Cincinnati and KF immediately gets pulled over. Cop asks if there is beer in the car. WHAT??? Dude, we're 7th graders!!! What were the 7th graders doing in Cincinnati at that time? Anyway, we get there, we've got seats way up in the nosebleeds, and we had a big contingency of "JOEY FANS".....for those of you that remember, it was kind of like, "I have a favorite New Kid, therefore I am."

So we're basically over a quarter-mile from the stage right? And what do my friends want to do??? Spell JOE with the neon necklaces. Because Joey is going to see his name ALL THE WAY UP THERE, send his bodyguards on the 6 hour trek up to section 605 to pull us all down for some private time back stage. (I was a very cynical 12 year old even then)

I was discussing this with some friends today and I was just laughing at how long we took to get ready for that concert. All the girls had thier bangs "poofed" just right, and Im sure I was wearing some acid washed jeans with a ESPRIT t-shirt and my sagging, droopy, white trash poof struggling to make it through the night.

I remember my best friend from elementary school, Jenny Slaughter, and how she got mad at me once because I could never establish my favorite New Kid. (She was in love with Donnie) I finally broke down and said I liked Danny (You older folks, think Ringo) and she got all pissed at me because I wasnt taking the question seriously and NOBODY liked Danny. This was probably the biggest fight we ever had.

So feel free to post your favorite NKOTB memories. I never had any New Kids schwag so I dont have any digging to do.

I thought Id treat you all to some FANTASTIC NKOTB Lyrics I dug up, and let me say, I blushed a little bit!!!

LETS PLAY HOUSE

(The title says "Lets Play House" but the lyrics say something ENTIRELY DIFFERENT)

Oh babyThink its time - That you let me come inside your happy home - Show what you what a man like me can do - When you let me get next to you - Baby come and let me love you - All night - Can you imagineWhat we could do alone? - Turn off the phone - Ill teach you passion - Come inside your happy home

?????????

HANGIN TOUGH

(Everybody's favorite New Kid Song...)

Everybodys always talkin bout whos on top.(rap:) dont cross our path cause youre gonna get stomped.We aint gonna give anybody any slack.(rap:) and if you try to keep us down were gonna come right back,And you know wereHangin tough, hangin tough, hangin tough.(rap:) are you tough enough?

So? ARE YOU?????

I took the day off today because my back was bothering me so much this morning. Its eased off a bit but Im still waiting for someone from Romers office (I left a message this morning) to call me back, and im hoping I can get it for what ever they want to give me soon. Whats the deal?

Im sorry I didnt post anything about the MRI results. Not only were they inconclusive as far as I can understand, nobody at the office has followed up with me since the results came in. When I was up in Dayton for my last appt, Romer said he wanted me to have this MRI on my hips and my spine. I said, "Can I get it done today? I dont want to have to drive up here again tomorrow." He looked at me like it was a tall order, but when the gal at the front desk was trying to schedule me, he came up and said something like, "Hey, tell them I want to check on a cork impression." Ive never heard of a cork impression but apparently thats the magic words to get a speedy MRI. I was scheduled that afternoon.

Tonight I got curious and decided to google "Cork Impression" and it doesnt even exist! Was Romer lying? No. Im deaf. Upon further reading, I realized that he was saying "CORD COMPRESSION".....Ill let wikipedia tell you: Spinal cord compression develops when the spinal cord is compressed by bone fragments from a vertebral fracture, a tumor, abscess, ruptured intervertebral disc or other lesion. It is regarded as a medical emergency independent of its cause, and requires swift diagnosis and treatment to prevent long-term disability due to irreversible spinal cord injury

Anyway, nothing like that was found, but I am getting ANCY about getting on SOMETHING SOON. My back is still bothering me and my hip bones ache from time to time. Pauly is fearful that everyone thinks he's an asshole (he is) for saying that Im just getting old. Everyone, tell Pauly he's not an asshole.

The pain has been so bad the last few nights that Ive had trouble sleeping and the Oxycodon doesnt do much for me. Friday I woke up early and just decided to take a shower and get into work early. It was one of those mornings where you think you're getting off to such a great start and everything goes to shit before sunrise.

My car was on fumes, So i figured Id treat myself to UDF coffee after filling up. It was FOUR degrees out. FOUR DEGREES. I make it from the house to UDF about a block away, but yet after filling up, I go to my car, and it wont start. Wont even turn over. Im getting radio and lights and thats it. I HATE asking for a jump on a BEAUTIFUL day, but on a morning like this? I was mortified.

Now, Im a 30 year old woman with a husband who works 15 minutes away, and what do I do? I call my dad. In Dayton. I guess theres something about calling your dad to assure you that everything will work out eventually. He actually asked if I needed him to come down, although I doubt he would have seen that through, and Nick never would have let him live it down if he drove to a town with almost a half a million people to give me a jump. Of course I wouldnt have asked that. (although dont ask about the time I needed a ride back to Dayton from Athens because my car wouldnt start and mom and dad drove ALL THE WAY to OU, called a tow, and the tow truck driver discovers upon trying to put the car in NEUTRAL that it's actually in DRIVE and thats why it wouldnt start...oops)

What was I saying???

Oh, the guy behind the counter at UDF was kind enough to help me. I got my jump and still made it to work on time. While im on work commutes, lets take a look at some of the clever vanity plates Ive discovered this week:

"PRAY 4 YU".....on an Escalade.

I cant describe the warm fuzzy I get to know that the "Haves" are praying for the "Have nots"....really. Nothing says "Jesus approves of my GAS-GUZZLING overpriced status symbol that could have fed a thousand hungry babies" like "PRAY 4 YU on a Escalade. What a beaming benchmark of Good Ol' American Hypocrisy.

Luckly, I cruised behind what Im guessing was a nurse, doctor, or medical researcher in the field of vaccination....."VAXN8R"....Now that was an awesome plate. I think some of the brightest minds tend to incorporate letters into words on their vanity plates. Seriously. Ill admit. Mine says "SR5ER"....but maybe me bitching about the hypocrisy of vanity plates is the biggest hypocrisy of all. Does my vanity get negated for acknowledging this? I didnt think so.

Foster Care Classes - Week 4

The Macs and the Surly's were at it again this Saturday, knocking out another two classes at Foster Parenting class. Thats my card below. Once were done with classes, its another 6-7 months of home study. I hope having a kegerator doesnt disqualify us. Im looking forward to it - should be a great incentive to keep the house clean for half a year. We're just playing things by ear. We really dont know what we want, but we will probably not take on anything too emotionally burdening as we are so new at this and have more on our plate at the moment than other candidates. They are very open and honest about not feeling guilty about biting off more than you can chew. This is a long process. We dont have all the answers yet so please hold all your fostering questions off until one year from now!

Our group had to come up with a list of things that affect one's cultural norms. I did the writing but Jmac was closest to the poster so he had to stand up and go over all our answers with the class of 25 or so. He's so scholarly. I took this on the sly. (I laughed when my beloved 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Doris Swabb recently told me of the neighbor kid -ok he's almost 40- who could never spell does. Always spelled it deos. A thousand kids and she remembers that. The woman is a Goddess. Anyway, I shouldnt have laughed. We all have those nagging words that for some reason never seem to sink in, even after elementary, high school and college. My word is attitude. Is it three "d's" and one "t"??? Or the other way around? Yeah. I actually had to ask. John is still speaking to me. Unfortunately, there is evidence on the tablet of my "Pause to think it over" spell. Another girl in the group quickly saw my quandry and said with a smile, "Tee-Tee". ) Thanks for not chastising me!

Yes, the four of us have visited CURRITO in Clifton the last two Saturdays....(for us its been three in a row) 'SGUD. We like it. Its a much more creative twist on Chipotle or QDoba. I wont explain it, but you can check out the menu here.
Here we are, sitting in the back, causing trouble.
What a view!
There's a bunch of stuff I was writing down in class that I wanted to blog about, but the folder is in the car, its cold, and Ive already taken my shoes off for the night. Yeah, Im that lazy. Dammit. Ill go get it.

Wow! Impressive! I hit on everything except "EYELINER ISSUES", and thats hardly blog worthy. Just so you all know, Ive been going sans eyeliner all week and its becuase I couldnt find my sharpener. have you ever been so desperate to use a eyeliner pencil that you start chipping away at point like you were a pioneer chiseling a wood figurine, but it turns into a jagged edge knife that you carefully try to apply without breaking skin under your eyes? It just got out of hand. It was too painful. I found a sharpener in my scrapbooking supplies so its all good. Now, If I dont wear makeup, its pure laziness.

Think that does it!

Oh, one last thing - I seem to be getting an influx of politically charged emails from everyone under the sun. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out where I stand. Therefore, I am making a contract with EVERYONE I know. Here's the deal:

NO POLITICAL EMAILS FROM ME....

NO POLITICAL EMAILS TO ME.

We have a WHOLE YEAR to learn about the candidates. Read the books they written, research their voting history, google them, but for Gods sakes dont mindlessly forward an email to your whole address book. Do I LOVE all the Democratic candidates? No. Do I hate all the Conservatives? NO! There's one I actually dont mind but Im not telling! (KJ can you guess?)

Beer Pong tourney is just a few weeks away. We already have SIXTEEN TEAMS entered and I know there are more that didnt RSVP (Kat) but apparently intend on playing (Kat). Someone (Kat) I heard, Is ACTUALLY planning a "pre-pong tourney" practice weekend (Kat) next week...and TOTALLY MISSED THE BOAT BY NOT RSVP'ingKAT!!! Tsk' Tsk'.

She knows we'll work it so every team plays, Im just givin' her a little static. C'mon, kit-kat, you know how the Evites work....dont think I havent seen you stalking the RSVP list for days....SHAME SHAME!!!! Ok, Ok, Im done....

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! Nick and I used to watch this movie OBSESSIVELY!!!

UPDATE -
Results Better than Expected!

Well, the PET results were definitely better than expected. My hips/right femur/spine have been bothering me so much that I was sure something was up.

My tumor marker did in fact, go up again from 96 to 103 but he's not real concerned with that right now. My PET did show active uptake in the femur and pelvis, and that was expected. But it didnt show much as far as the spine goes, and my back is STILL KILLING ME!.

Romer ordered an MRI on my hips and spine after the appointment. I was lucky enough to get in RIGHT after the appointmet at a imaging lab just down the street. MRI's (the old school ones, not the open ones) are LOUD and uncomfortable. Theres nothing like dealing with your own mortality by lying in a coffin for an hour. Yeesh. I farted about twelve times and was petrified that the technician would come in and drop dead. Luckly she didnt.

He isnt going to change up the medication until he knows whats going on with my back. He should know the results of the MRI tomorrow afternoon and I will call to find out what he wants to do. It will either be more chemo or focused radiation on my back.

In the midst of this good news, my back is still in much pain. Romer wrote me a Rx for some yummy painkillers (and if one more person says, "Be careful, Fort, those things are addictive".....) Hopefully this will just pacify me for a few more days until they can figure out what the hell is going on. I suspect tomorrow we'll know more. It really started to bother me after volleyball on Monday night so maybe I did somethign there. Who knows.

But anyway. Its 630p and i am so sore. I just want to take my meds, go lay in bed, have some soup and hit the hay.

Thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts you're sending my way. Keepem comin!

More as it develops.

Mother Daughter 2008

Columbus, OH!

Had a blast this weekend at Mother Daughter weekend. As usual, the Ya-Ya's had a blast. Ate at Buca Di Beppo for lunch - interesting! - and stayed at the Embassy Suites that night. Its a miracle there isnt a flag on Sharons credit card everytime she books a room. We know a thing or two about disturbing the peace!!! My head is big.
Say cheese! (I know, thats the worst caption ever. And I was on yearbook in hs)
And finally.....

I know I probably shouldnt be talking smack before a very serious PET SCAN tomorrow (1015 on Tues) but I just need to get this out. What is the deal with Ann Coulter? Could she possibly be the most vile human being on the planet? Seriously. I almost cant hate the woman because thats whats fuels my aversion to her. The hate that spews out of this womans mouth!!! I cant hate her becuase Im only becoming more like her. How does ANYONE become like this? What was her childhood like? Was she abused? Her venom spews like someone who has been beaten and has enlisted the "Flight or Fight" method of coping....and you know damn well she's fighting. But what is she really fighting against? On the other hand, she is a fantastic spokesperson for liberalism. I can only imagine how many level-headed, mildly compassionate Conservatives see this woman and think to themselves, "Damn....I do NOT want to be associated with this." Sometimes I wonder if A.C. is really a hard core liberal who has been acting the whole time to turn people off to conservatism. Thats how mindblowing some of her quotes have been.

This just in from the mouth of Ann Coulter:

"If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women."

It will probably come to no surprise that my current celebrity crush is Keith Olbermann...
Happy Tuesday! Ill be getting my PET scan around 1015am....Ill be getting my injection till about 11:15 and Ill be in the machine from about 11:30 - 12:15. Should know something Wednesday or Thursday. Ugh. Gotta tell you, it aint gonna be pretty. Back, hips, legs have been real achy.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr........

Maybe Ill take some pics at the pet scan tomorrow for a recap if im up for it.

Ive loved two pairs of boots in my life.
The first pair, as many of you will remember, were purchased at Valley Thrift Store on Woodman Dr. my sophomore year in college. To me, these boots represented me. They were cheap and unattractive and were my own personal protest to the clean and prissy Greek Life. I dont think the greeks ever knew I was protesting them with my shoes, but I defintely was.

I went on a mission to find a picture of these boots. I know, I know, Im the one who hangs on to shoes for WAY LONGER than any person should, but these bad boys went the way of "Soul Man". And by that, I mean, they were brutally and savagely ambushed by "friends".

(Soul Man was a compact of power foundation that I used to wear my freshman year in college. I thought it made me look like a coppertone model in the middle of winter, but Angie and Rhiannon thought it made me look like C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man. I came home from class one day and Soul Man was missing. Oh yeah, they called it Soul Man to my face and I STILL wore it. So anyway, I came home from class one day and it was gone. God love em, they kept the straightest faces, and I never found it until we were moving out at the end of the year. They had dropped it into a purple Crown Royal bag and I went the rest of the year, Soul Man free.)

Ok, before I go on, here are some snapshots I found, although you have to look REAL close: Here...this one is a TWOFER - Here's me, and the boots, and Pat Reilly - Congrats to Pat, who just got engaged this New Years! You can kinda see the red laces here:

Ok, here's a close up. God I loved those boots so.
Here's the only other one I could find. The picture above was Junior year, and below is obviously Sophomore year. There's my roommates, the girls of the Convo: Annie, Karen, Me, and Rachel. Sorry Annie. Im sure you're less than pleased about a flannel shirt photo resurfacing after ten years. Dont feel bad. We all did it. Im sideways on the chair and you can make out the boots. They did a lot of partying back then.
But of course, all good things must come to an end, and that end was a 28 Montrose. I dont know what happened to the shoes. Rumor has it someone shot the boot with it (Rugby-ism: Shooting the boot is when you violate some sort of social law and are forced to drink beer out of a shoe/boot/cleat/closest receptacle that will hold liquid. If you're lucky, you'll just drink beer out of someones nasty shoe without someone spitting in it or hawking a ginormous loogie in it before you drink it. Ive seen it happen.) But one of the shoes was never seen again. Ive suspected Stacy for some time, although I have no proof.

And of course, the boots you all know & love, the Bass leathers with brown laces. I have been wearing these for almost TEN YEARS. I purchased them at the Jeffersonville Bass Outlet store en route to Athens before my Junior year. I was with Pat & Kevin Reilly in a U-Haul with all our stuff, heading back to school. They were SOOOO much better looking then than they are today:

If you do the math, these shoes really served me well. I will approximate 9.5 year of usage, so, 3467.5 days from a $65 pair of shoes = .01730 paid per day for these boots.

Anyway, I have had a hard time as of late parting with them. I cant seem to find anything that Is more comfortable. Ive logged thousands of miles in these boots, and of course, will NOT throw them away. They will sit in my closet and I will pull them out on special occasions. Camping trips, and any event where I need to look really gritty. I still love these boots. Its just time to move on.

The opportunity presented it self this afternoon when one of my customers presented me with a very generous birthday gift certificate to Macy's. The decision was clear. I needed a new pair of shoes. I found a really nice pair that I otherwise wouldnt have spent nearly this much on. (uh-oh, I feel an ambush from the Pricy Purse Brigade coming on) Anyway, here they are. Be nice.

Stacy noted that she might like to take the opportunity to put in a word or two for the pairs of boots that are either no longer with us, or no longer in service. Please. Let them know how much they meant to you. Remind them of the good times, and that they will never be forgotten.

Happy Friday.

BLAH.....

This week couldn't GET any more boring it if started giving a lecture on the Dewey Decimal System. In no particular order:

• We bought a dishwasher today. Im embarassed to admit our dishwasher STILL doesnt work and there is still water sitting in it. Im not kidding. Our house should be condemned. what a cesspool. Hopefully we'll get the new on in by Saturday. Ill be at M/D weekend with all the ya-yas, so only J-Mac will have to face these guys. "seriously? You just let the water sit in there?"


• There was a guy working at Lowe's who was friendly, but had an Andy Kaufman a la Taxi delivery. When he started talking, it was all we could do. It just came out of left field, and I felt HORRIBLE for the slight nostril flare and constant lack of eye contact. I had to make a joke about buying the dishwasher just so I could smile. Im sure he's a wonderful man and anybody reading this who knows the guy is probably coming to kill me.
  
• I got John to walk through the kitchent cabinets section at Lowe's. Although its a way off, just getting him to see it was a big step forward. Id love to have some new kitchen cabinets. If you havent seen ours, they're metal and painted BRICK RED. Lovely. Cabinets are expensive.
  
• I sent out the evite for our beer pong tournament. Send me a message if you want to come and you're not on it. So far about 50 have looked at the actual invite and five people are going to be there so far. (including us)
  
• I really should rename the cat "hey". Ive said it five times since I started this post. I got him one of those catnip scratchers and the moron doesnt get it. He likes the carpet and the couch better. Thankfully they're both materials that dont show the abuse.
  
• I find that kittens are like children in that you can throw mountians of gifts and toys their way, and yet the kid will always want the tupperware bowl and the cat will always want a straw wrapper. Add any sort of adhesive to the paper and you might as well send him on a European vacation.


• Speaking of, Im really going to try and schedule some sort of European vacation for next year. And I really have to stick to some sort of savings or something because I swear I have been bringing this up to John since our first date and at this point it falls on deaf ears, because he knows its not somethign we have the time or the money for. but really, Im seriously going to work on that this year. So far the most exotic place Ive ever been is Toronto.


• Im in a Biggest Loser competition with some friends. I cant tell you who they are because they almost didnt let me join bc they thought I was going to blog about it, but then I said if they didnt invite me I would blog about how they discriminate against self-disclosing bloggers and so then I was in. Everyone did great for their first week. I trimmed about 4 lb and tomorrow is the second weigh in. I really havent been doing anything spectaular so If I lose more weight, its probably just going to scare me.....
  
• ......Because I dropped some weight the last time the BC got ugly. Probably not the best time to be dieting (OR MAYBE ITS THE VERY BEST TIME!!) We'll see.
  
• I was bummed to see that actor Brad Renfro was found dead. I really loved The Client. I was hoping there were great things in his future.

Whoa! Could I be more depressing? Ok, here are five things that made me laugh this week:

J-Mac had a funny at lunch on Sunday. We were with Tammy and Philly. Somehow we got into a discussion about how some women who look gay, arent. PHILLY: "You know, there are some women who live on a farm, wear flannels, and have mullets, but they're married with kids!" JMAC: "Yeah, some people are just ugly!" .....thank God Philly and Surly have a sense of humor. We very well could have had another Clifton murder on our hands.

I back handed my boss last week. A truck driver had wandered in the back door through the warehouse and I jumped up to tell him where to bring his truck in. Im talking with my hands and the next I know, Im waving him to bring the truck around front. I didnt know my boss Karen had walked up behind me and literally backhanded her across the jaw! I am still gainfully employeed, and Im just waiting for the moment she asks me to do something so I can say, "Dont make me slap you again."

I took our new train guy back into the warehouse to show him the railpit along the side of the warehouse and we were walking back to the office, (again, me talking, unaware of my surroundings) and I triped HARD over a fork lift prong sticking out. I must have flown a foot in the air, but thankfully landed on both feet. Ray was uncomfortably amused.

I had a customer call on the phone about some of the dinner trains we're going to offer in the spring. CUSTOMER: "Sooo.....these trains are going to go somewhere?" ME: "Yep! They're definitely going somewhere." >end<>tonight?)

We all got a laugh from Debra, our foster care teacher when she was giving her speech on discipline and said that you werent allowed to "thump" (as she made the downward flicking motion as if to injure an invisible four year old) your foster children.

OH YEAH! And Tammy & Philly gave us a WONDERFUL GIFT!!!! Take a look:

Happy Thursday - Ill have big recaps on Sunday from the Ya-Ya weekend! Yee Haw!

100 Years of Greatness!

Stacy (30) Pauly (40) Fort (30)

Thanks to Elizabeth for the pic from the "100 Years of Greatness" party from this weekend. I dont really have any notable updates, because, once again, Bangkok Bistro killed any buzz we could have gotten. I guess Im old. I was tired early and we were home shortly after midnight.

Its Catholic Guilt causing me to post today. I really dont have any spectacular updates, no great recaps....basically in funk for the last week.

My tumor markers are up again, and Im sure my mom will be pissed that I didnt tell her and she had to read it on my blog. Its not news I like sharing. They went from 63 to like 94 or something, and Im going in to see Romer on Friday. That should be fun. I guess that's whats had me in this funk for the last few days. The rising tumor marker is always a shitty phone call to get, especially after Ive had 3-4 good ones since my last chemo. My hip was bothering me all weekend, and that scares me. I didnt feel like bringing that up before getting together with everyone before the bday party we had a Haps this weekend. I just wanted to forget it for awhile

So far we've taken three foster parenting classes. Its another 8 weeks followed by a home study and buckets of self-disclosure. I am fine with self-disclosure, although i am much better at it after 4-5 beers. I probably shouldnt drink for that interview, though.

Its hard to learn about all these kids.....part of you wants so badly to have a child in the house to love, and teach, but the other part is so apprehensive. There are 6 year olds who dont know how to wipe. School aged kids who DO WIPE....their crap on walls....

Do we have the patience for it? There's only one way to learn I guess. We have a lot of work to do in the next year as far as getting the house ready and all that good stuff. I guess we'll need some bunk beds probably, not have so much glass on the counters? We've never had anyone ask us to babysit so maybe thats not a good sign.

Karen and I were driving to volleyball tonight and I told her that for the last year or so, Ive been feeling like I have have just ONE MORE big cancer related hurdle to clear before Im ok. I just really believe that im going to live a normal life, but I accepted a long time ago that there would be many battles ahead. But Ive just been having these weird premonitions that theres one more huge obstacle in my way. I belive it is in the form of some heavy-grade chemo that will probably knock me out good. But I see myself getting through it and never looking back. "Good Game, Cancer." "Good Game, Fort." "See ya Never!"

I know that sounds crazy (and -ahem- totally unrealistic) but Im feeilng like the cancer just hasnt quite realized what its up against, and after my next battle of epic proportions, cancer is going to give me that "Good Game" High five and walk away a loser.

Im sorry, this post was utterly depressing! my bad!

ONE QUICK THING - - -REAL QUICK: EVERYONE!!!
GO TO THIS LINK and vote for my cousin CODY LYON. Don’t ask JUST DO IT!!!!
(http://wral.com/sports/prepsports/poll/2260279/?show_poll=1)

Thanks to all who came out for my big 30th Birthday party on Saturday - It was hands down the best birthday Ive ever had! (Yes! Even better than 21.) Seeing as as the question, "Will I even make it to thirty?" has crossed my mind a number of times in the last five years, Im pumped to have gotten here. After our marathon 9-4 foster parenting class Saturday morning, we headed up to B-Dub's in Kettering and had the Buckeye Room for the party. Mom and dad pitched in for wings and I assume the bar tab was impressive! I think everyone had a pretty good time. Sorry, most of these pictures are from my moms camera so there are 50 pictures...me with guest 1, guest 2, guest 3, etc....

Early on....still behaving!

Hardest Partying Grandpa this side of the Ohio River!
Look closely! They spelled my name wrong. Now that Im 30 though, Im mature. Those things dont bother me. -shrug-
This picture contains two real boobs....in more ways than one!
I was excited that my all-time favorite high school teacher showed up to celebrate! I didnt feel awkward drinking a beer in front of her at all. She's probably the one person in the world who could motivate me to write a book....and she's trying, for sure. Im still finding it hard to figure out how to even start a book....some of posts Ive gotten the most positive responses on completely came out of left field with no provocation. But Im getting there. Sharon Rab is my Oprah. She says it, I do it. Expect great things in 2008 with her cracking the whip!! :)
Brian, Doug, Steve, Jean, Larry & Deb, Gma, Tom, and my sissy cousin, Chris. You asked for it!

Ketterings Finest! (not you KPD! Sorry Jen)
The Franz's would be the closest thing I have to second family. Id trade Nick for any one of them.
Awwww...the Ya-Ya juniors look cute - see you in two weeks!
The highschool BFF's and familie. Yeah, I said BFF's. What are you going to do about it??
Wow! I wish I could actually BE pregnant and not just look it!! ha! Thanks mom & Dad for the awesome spread. Posters, pics, etc. I wasnt expecting that for sure.

If you let old people drink enough, they will act just like college kids.
Rick (who drove me home from the hospital when I was born!), Shelley and Dad.
Look at the camera, kid!!! Samantha loves Aunt Fortener!
Brian, Nick, Rick & Shelley - I still dont understand exactly whats going on in this picture but at least they're having fun!
Bob & Mary Louise, my g-ma's baby sister! Thanks for coming out!

Guess which one of these DIDNT Take me to a high school dance? (only one of them!!)
OH! AH! Let's all go to Taggarts!!!
My Godparents, Sue & Mike. How lucky they are to have had me as their Godchild. I know, I know, you dont deserve it. You're welcome.
Fortener Family version 2008.1.5
You didnt think I actually got through the night with out a shot or two, did you? Not with Crystal in the house....(actually I started with a Goldschlager and it was AW. FUL. gugh....but it did snap me out of a pre-party funk!)

Matt, Sue, Fort.
The night ended with a few people (Thats Tony & mom) playing my new mini cornhole game....can you see it? I am so taking that to work tomorrow......
Despite that being the best ever birthday party I have ever had, ever, (fuheva-eva?) My one birthday pleasure is going to China Cottage with my family. If thats all I ever do for my next fifty birthdays, I will be a happy woman. As usual, the content of discussion ranged from nose picking to well...I wont even go there. Always an enriching environment with much to learn from this "meeting of the minds". The only awkard moment was when John let Nick share his dish of noodles - neither of them want to talk about it ever again: Got home to see some friends hanging out in the backyard - hey guys. Missed ya.
For those of you who are interested, our Beer Pong tournament will be Feb 9th. Email me if you're entering a team.

THanks again to all who came. Definitely the best birthday I ever had.

Have a great week!!!!