Fort's Cancer Sux!!

100 Years of Greatness!

Stacy (30) Pauly (40) Fort (30)

Thanks to Elizabeth for the pic from the "100 Years of Greatness" party from this weekend. I dont really have any notable updates, because, once again, Bangkok Bistro killed any buzz we could have gotten. I guess Im old. I was tired early and we were home shortly after midnight.

Its Catholic Guilt causing me to post today. I really dont have any spectacular updates, no great recaps....basically in funk for the last week.

My tumor markers are up again, and Im sure my mom will be pissed that I didnt tell her and she had to read it on my blog. Its not news I like sharing. They went from 63 to like 94 or something, and Im going in to see Romer on Friday. That should be fun. I guess that's whats had me in this funk for the last few days. The rising tumor marker is always a shitty phone call to get, especially after Ive had 3-4 good ones since my last chemo. My hip was bothering me all weekend, and that scares me. I didnt feel like bringing that up before getting together with everyone before the bday party we had a Haps this weekend. I just wanted to forget it for awhile

So far we've taken three foster parenting classes. Its another 8 weeks followed by a home study and buckets of self-disclosure. I am fine with self-disclosure, although i am much better at it after 4-5 beers. I probably shouldnt drink for that interview, though.

Its hard to learn about all these kids.....part of you wants so badly to have a child in the house to love, and teach, but the other part is so apprehensive. There are 6 year olds who dont know how to wipe. School aged kids who DO WIPE....their crap on walls....

Do we have the patience for it? There's only one way to learn I guess. We have a lot of work to do in the next year as far as getting the house ready and all that good stuff. I guess we'll need some bunk beds probably, not have so much glass on the counters? We've never had anyone ask us to babysit so maybe thats not a good sign.

Karen and I were driving to volleyball tonight and I told her that for the last year or so, Ive been feeling like I have have just ONE MORE big cancer related hurdle to clear before Im ok. I just really believe that im going to live a normal life, but I accepted a long time ago that there would be many battles ahead. But Ive just been having these weird premonitions that theres one more huge obstacle in my way. I belive it is in the form of some heavy-grade chemo that will probably knock me out good. But I see myself getting through it and never looking back. "Good Game, Cancer." "Good Game, Fort." "See ya Never!"

I know that sounds crazy (and -ahem- totally unrealistic) but Im feeilng like the cancer just hasnt quite realized what its up against, and after my next battle of epic proportions, cancer is going to give me that "Good Game" High five and walk away a loser.

Im sorry, this post was utterly depressing! my bad!