Sunday, September 30, 2007

YES! That's a Rubi Girl Venue!....
YES! Its on top of a building!

In what was one of the coolest spots in town, the Rubi girls performed on top of the Firefly building. This was a brand new location, offered up by the building's owner and tennant - who was lucky enough to join the girls in drag....and his wife loved it! It was a great night and well over a thousand dollars was raised for Cystic Fibrosis! As always, Josh was a ham, dropping the f-bomb no less than 12 times, harassed the crowd and kept things exciting....of course the rest of the girls were spectacular as usual. If you have yet to catch a Rubi girls show - Id highly reccomend it - John actually passed up watching the OSU game to go, if that tells you anything. Here, Filene Nails breaks it down...
The crowd favorite, Fonda Peters takes a break from the bar for a self portrait. This one cracks me up everytime. Usually about 2/3s into the show, she gets so hammered she cant remember any of the routines and basically freestyles it for the rest of the show. Always my favorite part!
This was toward the end I think, Anita Beer was already out of her costume, but they needed a male part for what ever song they were performing. The drinks were quite strong so unfortunately I have no idea....something from 'Rent' perhaps???
Of course my first question to Josh at the beginning of the night, was, "TELL ME, someone is going do SOMETHING on Britney..." And of course, the Rubi girls never disappoint. Bravo Ileasa Plymouth! Defintely one of my top favorites!
Wow! Could this post get raunchier? No. I didnt have the batteries for any film clips...Ill get it the next time. Lets get this post back to something wholesome....

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY EMMA KATE!!!!!

Sunday I woke up feeling less than stellar. I belive I suffered from a post-dated hangover, as I felt fine until we all headed to China Cottage for lunch with mom and dad. It was great as usual, although I hardly touched my food. Around 2 we finally headed back south to Stacy & Casey's for Emma's 2nd birthday party. Great spread, good company as always. Happy Birthday Emma!
She was NOT having the party hat. AT. ALL.
Will, Stacy, Sandy, Megan, Merle, and Emma!

Thats about it for the weekend wrapup. I have no general observations, heated controversial opinions to share, nothing. I hope these posts havent been boring you. Honestly, this constant ear ringing and co-existing headache that wont go away (im 6 days in to a 10-pack Levaquin with no changese), I hardly have the energy to do ANYTHING.

Seriously...and Im supposed to take a 60 mile walk in two weeks and I was winded after walking to the football game this friday. Stay tuned. I have a feeling my life is going to resemble a massive train wreck in about two weeks!

Happy Monday!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

TODAY: SUCKFEST TO PLEASANT SURPRISE.




Ok - Let me just quickly address the SUCKFEST that was my visit to ENT doc this afternoon. Long story short? The ringing in my ears and sudden hearing loss is legit...as in about a THRITY FIVE PERCENT LOSS according to the test. Here are a few highlights: (yes, Jami & stacy Im TOTALLY copying IBBB - everyone else, IBBB is a blog that we've all become addicted to. We "heart" the Hills and this dude gives THE BEST wrap-ups. PERIOD. The shiz: http://imbringingbloggingback.blogspot.com/ Ok, back to the appointment:




  • Doc looks at report and excitedly says, "Well! You're 29 and you have the hearing of a FIFTY-NINE year old!" Does this mean I can finally retire?


  • Even with a 35% loss, as I was taking the test in the sound booth, here's a little sneak peek into my inner thoughts: "Ok, heard that...'yes'......heard that, 'yes'......heard that, 'yes', oh, that was really quiet but I definitely thought i heard something, 'yes', ok, this must be the part where she doesnt make the headphones beep, like she's trying to keep me honest, ....ok, defintely heard that, 'yes'.....wow, im hearing all these low tones, im passing the test, they're totally going to think im an idiot for coming in here, heard that, 'yes', great, I have 100% hearing and they're going to think Im the biggest hypochondriac." Unfortunately that was not the case.


  • The doc says, "You have any Idea what may have brought this on?" I start rattling off the insanity of medical procedures, and conclude with the chemo. "What chemos are you on?" Cisplatin was the only one I could think of. "Nuff said" he replies. "The Platinum agents in those chemos will cause hearing loss." Thats SUPER!


  • Anyway, there is no cure, we just hope it goes away. He said the only thing he could really give me was Xanax....WHAT??? I guess it just lowers the stress that can make the constant ear ringing less tolerable. I told John and he laughed. "Yeah, I got this ear-ringing, but its all good."


  • Ears are ringing right now. Im going back in a month to see if things have improved. I can deal with the hearing loss but this ringing might make me go totally mad!!!


  • Got home from the appointment to get ready for the:

FINNEYTOWN COMMUNITY HOMECOMING PARADE!!!!or whatever they call it...


I gotta tell ya. Despite all the shit thats been dumped in my lap for the last four years (can you belive its been four years?) I have to say the good stuff seems to pour in at about the same clip as the bad. I never thought we'd ever actually be out of the apartment and in a house, and Id always hoped to have some sort of community involvement whereever we ended up, but I have to tell you, I never imagined in my wildest dreams Id be coaching hs volleyball and driving a pickup truck full of my players through the streets of Finneytown. All the sports teams, (Middle school-hs) marching band, Homecoming King/Queen Candidates, and maybe some clubs?- All parade through the streets and end up at the high school for a class vs. class game of dodge ball. This is a great place to live!!! Here some of the girls wait for the parade to start: Paige, Bri, Kaitlin, Laney & Melissa:



Katie, Me, Kylie & the future Homecoming Queen - STEPH!!!!!
Steph and Patrick Dawson rode behind Coach Baker's car. Shoe-in if you ask me.
Abby ups her marching band cool factor by representin' the Volleyball team....WHUT WHUT!
Varsity girls in their pick-em-up:
We were behind the soccer team - All the teams bring bags of candy and throw it out to all the kids in the neigborhood. The kid in front of me actually had a bag of dog bones and was running off the platform and treating all the dogs that were out - quite a few!

Oh yeah....here are a few pics Stacy took at the Volley for The Cure last night....my team, and me with Melissa, in the "We 'heart' Fort" t-shirts the varsity team wore for warmups....awesome.



I didnt even mention anything to John about when I left - I had explained that Im like an infant with all of this - everything is brand new. Luckly I called him and he got back to the high school to see the end of the parade as we were coming back.


I havent had a really good question of the day in awhile- and I was bummed that no one had an opinion on "The DInette Set"....seriously? Are you all just being nice? I doubt the lady that writes it reads my blog. (And if you know her, please dont forward the link)


QUESTION OF THE DAY -


What is your favorite music video EVER?

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

FINNEYTOWN BEATS TAYLOR IN 3!!!!
Volley For the Cure was a Huge Success! Over $3000 dollars raised! Im pretty wiped out but Ill post some pictures- Heres the clip of the final point scored:


JV & Varsity:
The whole fam, gma, Jean, Steve, Jan, Ryan, Chris & Tom. Tom was the line judge for the varsity match -Thanks! Im a slacker and didnt get a second judge. Oops!
Another shot of the stands...
Alisa, Me, Stacy & KJ- I pulled the 50/50 ticket and whos did I pull??? Stacys!! That bleeding heart gave all $115 back to the cause!
Long night, too tired to write anything, but Ill post some more pictures if anyone sends them.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Crossing Paths
Ever have one of those days where you catch something that you may not have if you simply werent paying attention?
In light of my recent botched hair-bleaching, I panicked on my way from mom and dads to chemo. (Ive been telling Joni all this time Ive been wanting to go platinum and she's been all, "You go for it sister!") I didnt want to walk into chemo and have everyone glaring at my rediculous hair, so I diverted from my usual route to hit the Walgreens across from Parnell's for a hair band to cover much of my hair.
Im sitting at the stop light waiting to turn left onto Forrer, and who makes a left hand turn in front of me, but MY BROTHER and Keith on their way to work. We both saw each other and quickly, excitedly waved. It was like, the most exciting thing thats ever happened to me between the hours of 8am & 9am.
Thennnnnn......Im speeding on my way to my game tonight and Im talking to Stacy, and she's all, "where are you?" And Im all, "Im on Ronald Regan heading east, passing Stoll's house." And she's all, "Im heading west about to pass you!" I cant see her yet, and just as she says, "Im flashing my headlights!" I see her coming. Of course we're both in the fast lane, and moments later, we share a half second of violent waving and laughing as we pass each other. It was the most fun Ive had on a commute home, EVER!
Dont forget!! Tonights the big Volley For the Cure game at Finneytown. JV is 530- Varsity to follow around 630 - Parking will be tight, get there early!!!
If it doesnt end too late, we're heading over to JB's across the street for a beer or three and some appetizers. Come out and Join us!!

Monday, September 24, 2007

DONT FORGET!!!
TOMORROW (Wed. Sept 26th) IS
VOLLEY FOR THE CURE @
FINNEYTOWN HIGH SCHOOL!!!
8916 Fontainebleau Terrace
Cincinnati, OH 45231
http://www.mapquest.com if you need directions.
JUNIOR VARSITY starts at 5:30 - VARSITY TO FOLLOW 630ish
DONT FORGET TO WEAR YOUR PINK SHIRTS IF YOU HAVE THEM,
or any pink shirt will do.
Discounted entry fee for pink shirts!
(I think its $2 or something....)
SEE YOU THERE!!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Cincinnati: Putting the "ASS" back in "CLASSY"
I cant deny I've always been a fan of novelty t-shirts. Typically reserved for Junior High boys and retired men, I was pleased to see this middle-aged woman sporting one of the funniest and disturbing novelty t-shirts Ive seen in awhile. This was at the Oktoberfest this weekend. Bravo Lady!

Dont Forget! Volley for the cure is THIS WEDNESDAY!!! There was a bit of a "snafu" with the t-shirts and it turns out I only have one Small (for willie) and a bunch of XL's and ONE 4X...eek. This was partially my fault. I know I took orders and I have failed a few of you. I honestly thought there would be plenty more ordered to fill what I forgot to order and the tshirts sold out in a matter of HOURS. I will be contacting those of you who pre-ordered to let you know what's available. If you're still coming down for the game, wear a pink shirt just in case. Here I am with co-workers Jessica and Molly:
This was a busy weekend and the pics are already WAY out of order so here goes....this is really the only shot I took of the Finneytown/Wyoming football game on Friday night. Finneytown lost. I think we're the bad luck charm. It really sucked bc Finneytown was undefeated and hadn't beaten Wyoming in seventeen years. Not sure what happened there - oh right...we showed up. Here's the band - and one of our varsity setters front middle Ashley "A-Lew" Lewis on the clarinet. I could hardly imagine picking up a kazoo on the couch when I played hs sports let alone join the marching band. props to you, Ashley & Abby!
J-Mac and smiley Chuck at Haps:
Continuing our bad luck charm effect, we headed to Brimelow on Saturday to watch the hounds loose to the Chicago Griffins. Not satsified with spreading the suck, we headed to the Queen City pitch to contribute to the Kelts loss to Queen City. Of all the games we could have attended this weekend only the one we didnt go to (Cincy Ladies vs Dayton Ladies in dayton) did a favorable outcome occur. On a happier note, I had a few beers at the pitch, and then at the Vogue....and then at Haps.....(yes mom, I lied - big time - I was boozin' it up when I talked to you) and felt better than I have in SIX MONTHS. Apparently it wasnt the chemo that was kicking my butt, I was simply suffering from a serious HOPS DEFICIENCY.

Oh yeah, and we did make it to Haps, just for ONE BEER (promise mom) and got to see MaryAnn & Tom Sweeney, our favorite Haps regulars! She's my sister survior, who, after a unimpressive trip to our local Wellness Center, informed me "Screw the Wellness Center, Come to Haps!" Of course I was spacey and forgot my camera, so here's an old picture of us, actually about two years ago at one of the fundraisers.


Ok, Ive meant to blog about this on numerous occasions, and I would like some feedback.

IS THIS THE WORST COMIC STRIP IN THE WORLD, or is it simply the MOST HORRIBLE COMIC STRIP EVER?


I dont even have words for this comic strip. Day after day, Sunday after painfully colorful Sunday I see this strip and wonder......how is this person making a living off of this???? The art is something I could have achieved in high school, and the humor is JUST AWFUL. Time after time, I catch sight of those chinless characters and, like a train wreck, I am pulled in to see what sort of cheesy, unfunny antics they're up to again.

Does anyone else have any sort of comment on "The Dinette Set"? Do you find this funny? Is there another comic strip that you hate more? I want to know.

Oh yeah.....I BLEACHED my hair this weekend. Every five minutes I change my mind on whether I like it or not. Right now Im not feeling it. Now I have to face my girls tomorrow. Oh the honest expression of a 15 year old. God Save ME!!!!!

After telling my brother about what I did, he responded, "Why do you take your life out on your hair?" That kids not just a pretty face, folks. Quite astute, indeed!!!


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

HOW CAN I GO WRONG WITH THIS KIND OF SUPPORT OUT THERE??
THANKS WILLIE!!!!

Myspace Quotes

Well, you've all been waiting for it, and some of you already know.....GREAT NEWS!!!!


The PET scan came back with SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT - no soft tissue (organ) abnormalities. Ive typed out the important stuff but also posted pics of the documents, you can click on them to read yourself.
Heres a snippet:

FINDINGS: The distribution of the radiotracer in the brain is unremarkable with no focal abnormalities being noted. The cervical neck region is also unremarkable.


In the chest area there is no abnormal uptake seen in the hilar or medistinal areas. The lungs are clear bilaterally. There is no abnormal uptake seen in teh right adn left axilla, right breast or the left breast area. There may be some very limited esophogeal uptake seen in the central chest.


The abdomen and pelvis there is normal uptake of the radiotracer in teh liver and the spleen. Normal physiological activity is seen associcated with the urinary tract and bowel structures. There were no focal abnormalities seen within the abdomen and pelvis. The groin areas are unremarkable bilaterally.

IMPRESSSION:


1) There is no definite evidence for soft tissue malignancy related to the patients history of left breast carcinoma.

2) On the previous study it was though that there could be widespread bony metastatic disease. There is SIGNIFICANTLY (I put that in caps/italics!) less uptake of the radiotracer in teh bony skeleton on the current study. There are some areas in the pelvis and femurs and humeri that may still represent active tumor.


YAY!!!


Im going to agree to let the cancer take residency in my pelvis and femur IF AND ONLY IF, it stays put for at least 50 years. I think its a fair agreement...dont you?


Thanks for all the prayers and the positve energy....its working!!! Im SOOOOOO excited to get off chemo. I suspect he'll put me on some sort of oral drug or some kind of maintence chemo....I really have no idea, but Im looking forward to AT LEAST a month of detox.


PLease let me know if you know of any good detox programs, boxes at heath stores, etc...Im interested.

THANK YOU -THANK YOU- THANK YOU

THANK YOU!!!!!

And finally, the question to end the week:

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE's THEME SONG???

VISIT THE FOLLOWING LINK, PUT IN THE DATE OF YOUR 18th Birthday, and find out what the theme song of your life is!!!



POST YOUR RESULTS!!!!

(Stacy, dont do ours, its stupid....)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Yeah, I realize this is a disgustingly unflattering photo of myself, but I took this the other day after about 4 days of non-stop nose bleeding. Looking a little pale, you're thinking. Gotta take care of that, Fort. Right. Got it. Well, my PET scan was today. Nothing new. Only my dumb ass scheduled it for SEVEN AM, mostly so I could get out sooner and get close to a full day of work before going to my volleyball game. Wishful thinking.

I get the PET scan done, with a slight delay becuase my nose was still bleeding after they had injected me with the radioactive dye. I had called Joni at Dr. Romers office yesterday and she said she wanted me to get a CBC test to check my blood counts. I tried to get one at the hospital after the PET scan, but we waited 30 min, and at this point, Im still thinking Im going back to work. We left and went to Romers office since I knew they could prick me and send me on my way much quicker. That was not to be. My platelets were at 17,000. Apparently it should be in the 100,000-500,000 range. I had also lost a unit of blood as well. Hence the white pale face and bloody noses that would not stop since I had no platelets.
Joni has threatened me about having to go to the hospital if my counts got to a certian point, but I just thought those were empy threats. not this time. I was instructed to get my but back to the hospital for a TRANSFUSION..... for 2 units of blood and one unit of platelets (looks like a pukey gold liquid) This was to last me about 6-7 hours. bye bye work. Bye bye volleyball game.

Here I am all ready to roll. My arm got stuck no less than six times today. super fun.
Thats me below looking at the pukey green gold platelet bag. Ok, now they've got the blood flowin, and they brought me a ham sandwich for lunch. But my nose was really sore so they brought me in small packet of KY jelly. I was a little creeped out. The Mayo and the KY looked too much alike. I was worried I might put KY on the sandwich, but It was all good.
Nick stopped by after work, shared some nick stories, and was on his way.

Ok, heres the bag of blood. Thanks to who evers blood is runnign through my veins right now....'Preciateit!!!!! Oh yeah, then I had to an MRI on my brain at 7:30 since I was having headaches. So all in all, what should have been a two hour event, evoloved into a fourteen hour proceedure-thon. What a day.

Hopefully things will improve tremendously by tomorrow, im still alittle loopy from the benedryl, vicodin, etc i had today.

Thanks for sending all the prayers & positive energy!!! Im finally feelin it!!!

:)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

I think my dad said it best, quoting Homer Simpson:
"This is the SUCKIEST SUCK THAT EVER SUCKED."
What can I say. This was a HORRIBLE day in Cincinnati. What is it with the Bengals playing to the level of every team they play? Id be scared to put them up against a college team, since most college teams probably should BEAT the Browns. I dont know what the answer is. Mom and Dad came down and we went to our new favorite restaurant, JB's - all you can eat wings during the Bengals games - whohoo! The four of us polished off eight pounds of wings. yessir. Healthy chemo diet begone!!! Oh yeah, here we all are, pissed off about the game: This is NOT what we were expecting....

Could I LOVE THIS SHOW ANY MORE????

Here's an update for those of you who are or arent keeping up with my favorite show dujour...Rock of Love! Its down to 2 - Jes & Heather. Crazy Lacey is out thank God. But guess what - I cant be surprised, I went online and googled "ROCK OF LOVE SPOILER" and did some hard-core investigating. Im on board with what I read. Jes wins over Heather, but I was sincerely bummed to read that its likely that Jes and Bret Michaels ARE NOT, read, ARE NOT together, and furthermore, the producers, who had Jes picked from the get go, apparently told her to "act nice" so the fans would like her more. What the FUDGE? You S.O.Bs....IT WORKED!!!! Ive been picturing Jes and Brets wedding for sometime now, based on her sincerity....Ive known she was a shoe-in from the get go. So even more than next weeks final episode, Im more excited for the "reunion show", because no doubt the two will have gone their separate ways, and it will give me a chance to see crazy, manipulative tattle-tale Lacey get slammed by the other contestants, as well as the obnoxious audience. Thats it for now.

OH YEAH! CHECK OUT THE TUB!!!!!

So Purty!!!! If any of you are interested, you can book an appointment at http://www.uglytub.com/ Tell them you have the $175 cupon. I think they advertise for like $225 or something, but the guy didnt ask me for the cupon so you should be good to go.

I AM PRETTY PISSED ABOUT THIS:

http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2007/09/12/ddn091207pink.html

Very nice. So the Archdiocese of Cincinnati wont allow it's girls volleyball teams to donate their funds to the Susan G. Komen foundation because they have contributed to Planned Parenthood. Really???? Thats super. Shuffling around pedophiles from church to church is only recently a concern, and this, THIS they're gonna take a stand on???

I can accept that the Catholic church doesnt agree with Planned Parenthood (although, lets face it, their unrealistic promotion of abstinence has probably led to WAY more shameful abortions than they'd like to admit), but if you're going to pick and choose what issues you want to stand on your soap box for, make sure you do your homework and make that call before you use all the resources and dontations the promoters worked so hard to achieve (FOR THE SUSAN G. KOMEN FOUNDATION)......What about the businesses who donated their profits on the t-shirt sales (for KOMEN) or the volleyballs (FOR KOMEN), what if they dont want their money going to organizations that are still trying to shove 15-year old, disproven science down the throats of women.....

Just in case you were wondering, ABORTION DOES NOT contribute to BREAST CANCER: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6x_Can_Having_an_Abortion_Cause_or_Contribute_to_Breast_Cancer.asp

Furthermore, do you think I would have had numerous doctors tell me that it was "ok to consider abortion" when I was pregnant with JP if they thought it was going to worsen my condition? Of course I never considered that, and you might be surprised to find out that I think abortion as a form of birth control is wrong and could never do it myself, I just think if a person is of the thinking that its ok, they're way past being convinced by a picketer to turn around. I think if more people were willing to save the hundreds of thousands of dollars on reproductive assistance and offer to love an unwanted child thats already been conceived, and if the time and money spent on "Abstinence programs" would be redirected to a little better birth control, the world would be a better place, and maybe people would feel a little less likely to take that route.

Trust me, Id LOVE to have just one of those babies!

Im just saying, if they dont like the fundraiser, have a separate function. Its as simple as that. Im not trying to get all controversial, and im actually a fairly open-minded person despite my liberal ways.

Geez, WHO's STANDING ON THEIR SOAPBOX NOW???? Sorry folks, I know you all dont agree with me, this just hit me a little hard.

BIG, SCARY PET SCAN ON TUESDAY.....

So I want to update you since my last post. I had a lot of people call me asking me if everything was ok, and that my posts werent usually that morose. I guess I just try to post mostly about the "ups" instead of the "downs".

This looming PET scan, to be perfectly honest, has me scared out of my wits, and im sure some of you are thinking, "With that Pro-Choice additude, God is definitely going to strike you down anyway!" Ha ha, ok, seriously though.

Remember last year? All the "hoopla", all the dare I say it, "media attention", my "healer experience", all the chi-gong, blah blah blah.....I really felt ready for that scan. Like I did my homework for it.

Now, I just feel like this is coming flat out of nowhere. I havent been doing my chigong, I havent seen any healers, and I havent been feeling well AT ALL. I suppose the fourteen hour days of fulltime work and chemo and coaching probably have kept me from doing much at all, but this scan just feels like the most important one Ill have and I dont feel "ready".

Physically, Im still feeling about 20%, and the best Ive felt since Ive been on this chemo has been about 70%! Also, for the last four days, Ive had bloody noses and Ive been blowing out blood clots. Sorry, i know thats so gross. Also, for the last three days, ive developed a high-pitched ringing in my ears that will not go away. I know Im not supposed to self diagnose on the internet, but it doesnt look like theres any sort of remedy out there short of "getting used to it". I have a digital watch in the dining room that goes off everyday and I was sitting in the living room and mom looks at me and says, "Is that thing going to stop?".......I COULDN'T HEAR IT!!!! Are you happy Clark??? IM DEAF!!!!!!

On the positive side, my last two tumor markers have gone down, and I guess I could look at it this way, If the chemo is making me feel THIS BAD, its got to be killing a lot more bad cells along with the good, right?

I guess we'll find out!!! I have a game tomorrow night at Country Day and then Im driving straight up to Dayton for my PET scan Tuesday morning at 7am. Yes, 7am, why do I subject myself to these early appointments? Ugh, geez.

One last thing, This Sunday's POSTSECRET is pretty jaw-dropping! http://postsecret.blogspot.com

What is everyone else's opinion on the Volley for the Cure issue? Im so curious. Am I out of line?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Its the best of weeks, and the worst of weeks....

Oh, where do I start.


I enjoy living my life in grey. Little bit of this, little bit of that. Although my bads have been pretty bad, and my goods have been phenomenal at times, I really just wish my life was more grey.


My last chemo of this "round" was Tuesday. If some of you are confused about this round, here's how it went: a total of 12 treatments over the course of 18 weeks. Chemo for four hours on a tuesday, the next tuesday, off the next tuesday. Repeat five more times.



This one started out like the rest: a breeze. A guilty chemo patient sitting in the treament room, all my hair in tact, feeling on top of the world. Doing work with my IV in, calling customers, studying volleyball coaching books, booking train trips while getting pumped full of chemo.


But it didnt stay that way. The last few weeks, no work was done, no trips were booked, not much of anything was accomplished in ANY MANNER. Frankly, this one has kicked my ass. Pushing 14 hour days on chemo has sucked, but Im not regretting the coaching - the adrenaline from those games has been the only thing keeping me connected with my pre-cancerous life.



Its nice to remember how important a high school volleyball game is. Im just sick of all the heavy stuff.



This has probably been the hardest week of all - im nauseous, I actually did miss my game last night and cancelled practice for today. That was a tough decision because I know the girls wanted to practice, but I just couldnt do it.



Whereas my bosses when I was first diagnosed asked me when I was going to come back a day after my son's funeral, my boss Karen came up to me Wednesday, and said, "You know, its okay to say 'no'" Im thankful she noticed - because I think i was on the brink of a physical meltdown.



I took today off, which worked out, because over a month ago, I scheduled to have my tub reglazed. My initial plan was to have a friend, or mom, or a neighbor come over and sit with the guy while he worked, but this way, I was able to be here. And the house is full of toxic fumes, and im so congested I cant smell a thing. Ill take what I can get. I wish I had a picture of the tub when it looked its absolute worst. Rusty rails from where the glass doors once were, cauk residue everywhere. It was gross. Those of you who have experienced it first hand know what Im talking about....its the color of urine. But not anymore. Ill have another shot up once I get everything in order- but heres the before, and the "primed tub" stage. (right now I have to leave it alone till about 9p, then we cut the paper, cauk it, and then we have to wait 24 hours before we can use it. Yes, we're showering at the Schniebers tonight.

Before, sort of....
After, not really...not yet:
So anyway, that looks good, now we've got to get the tub draining again as well as the dishwasher. One step Forward, two steps back!

So, with the expection of being physically blown away with a sinus infection or allergies or whatever is making me deliver road kill from my nose, I did have one spectaular lunch this week.

Last week after chemo, I ran into my ALL TIME FAVORITE HS TEACHER, Mrs. Sharon Rab. I LOVE MRS. RAB!!! She has always been my own personal Oprah. Smart, funny, encouraging, thoughtful and sincere just to name a few qualities. I had her for Junior comp at Fairmont, and then the following year, I took both of her honors English classes - Comedy & Satire, and Creative Writing. I told John that if Mrs. Rab had offered a class on Self-Loathing, I probably would have been the first to sign up for it. As far as Im concerned, everything that comes out of that womans mouth is gospel. I imagine if there was someone to take a picture of me every time she opens her mouth, Id probably look like an eager child. At least thats what I feel like.


Karen and Angie used to make fun of me (ok, they still do) in high school because all I did my senior year was a few mandatory classes, everything Mrs. Rab offered, and of course YEarbook and Flyer with Mr. Riley.

They used to sing my schedule.....

"MooooooorreeePainterRabRileyMooreRabRileeeeey" Well, it was pretty funny then, at least.

Here's a few pic's I drug up from high school.....Mrs Rab at her all-powerful podium, enlightening the masses:

Junior Year: our classes "Chaucer Pilgrammage", where we walked from Fairmont to the Peasant Stock for lunch, where we were assigned a Chaucer character, found their modern day equivilent, and wrote a poem about it, where we recited it at lunch.
Thats me in Laura (Friemuth) McCall's silky robe. I was assigned the Miller, and my modern day equal was a big time wrestler. Probably trying to get into my dads good graces. I have no idea what I wrote, but here I am, reading it.
So anyway, I disclosed to Mrs. Rab that I had 50 pages of a book Im working on and I had been working on getting it published -its not a memoire or anything like that, something a little more cancer-surviving novelty item - but she took me next door to Books & Co. and bought me the Literary Agents Guide and gave me some quick pointers to get started. (Lets just say she guided me to the onramp to the highway, after I had been on a tricycle going the wrong way)

Id like to start working on this after volleyball is over, right now things are just crazy.

So now I have another PET scan on Tuesday. I dont know how Im feeling about this one. It was just over a year ago that I was going through this, huge PET scan on the horizion, everything at stake, all the hoopla of the article....and the miraculous PET scan....

All of the sudden I feel like I havent been preparing for this one. I need to see at least marginal improvement or im going to be in trouble. Im sick of being sick. Im ready to kick this for good.

Its so hard when you're nauseous and wanting to yak all the time to get all motivated and thinking positively. I cant deny that these last few weeks, Im probably more scared than I want to admit. Those morbid thoughts start creeping in. Should I start thinking about cremation? Would Stacy honor my wishes and sprinkle some of them in the front booth at the Cats Eye like I said I wanted years and years ago? I have to stop that. I guess its natural. But people probably never admit that they think that.

Then what usually happens, is I convince myself that I MUST subject myself to these thoughts, because the worse things get, the better the achievement of overcoming it will feel. You have to come back from the bottom of the barrel to really make the biggest impact.

If you dont have cancer, you probably dont distinguish between stages, but honestly? I dont want to hear about the struggles of a Stage 1 survior. They're the lucky ones. Stage 2? 3? Still struggling but a better chance of keeping it at bay. I need to either FIND the Stage 4 survior that wont die or BE the Stage 4 survior that wont die.

Its as simple as that.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Thanks for reminding me, Misti....Britney at VMA's???


Britney Spears added a new dimension of crap to her repitoire - this VMA performance last night. I actually didnt see it live, i missed the first 10 minutes. I get a text from Misti this morning asking if a saw it, so of course I couldnt start my day with out Youtube-ing it...and thank God I did. I need to get this out of my system before I start my day. Just in case you didnt catch it, the link is above.

Britney reminds me of when I play volleyball and I have gas real bad. Like, Ill try not to make any sharp, sudden moves. Thats what she looks like! And this song SUCKS...this girl needs to get her $hit together before she tries to throw a song together in four days. That was pretty much AWFUL. Please feel free to post your own comments.

While we're on the VMA's, did anyone else think that was one seizure-enducing show? I like RAP, but the first 50 min of the show they gave THREE awards total and camera hopped from private party to private party. 50 Cent or Kanye? Which do you like? You better pick one because thats all your gettin, all night.

The only bright spot I could see was Justin Timberlake, not once, but TWICE, getting some airtime telling MTV to start playing more videos. No $hit! MTV played "America's Top Model" episodes back to back ALL WEEKEND LONG. Thats way too much Tyra Banks than ANYONE needs, and the show sucks anyway.

Went to the hospital last night, was worried I was getting a bad sinus infection. My counts were fine, and they just put me on antibiotics. Ive got games today, tomorrow and wedesday (chemo tomorrow too) so this week is really going to suck in the worst way.

Please - I want to hear your feedback on Britney & the VMA's in general....

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Here they are!!! My girls!!!


EVERYONE! Mark your calendars!


VOLLEY FOR THE CURE at


Finneytown HS vs. TAYLOR - Wednesday, Sept 26


(below - details from Varsity Coach Baker)



Hello all-I hope everyone has had a great start to the school year! I just wanted to let everyone know that the Finneytown JV and Varsity Volleyball teams are participating in a state wide event called Volley for the Cure.



This event was started to raise awareness about Breast Cancer last year by 2 schools in Cincinnati, Sycamore and Loveland.



The goal of these schools was to raise money to donate to the Komen Foundation and pack the stands in pink. They had an amazing turnout, and now the OHSVCA has made it a state-wide event. Our Volley for the Cure game will take place home, Wednesday September 26th against Taylor High School. Throughout the next couple of weeks the girls will be doing various things to raise money; bake sales, a table at Kroger's, selling pink ribbons, etc.



We are also going to be selling Fan Shirts, which are a unisex hot pink t-shirt that says Volley for the Cure '07 800 teams vs. Breast Cancer for only $5!!! All proceeds made from the event are going to be donated directly to the Komen Foundation. Please email me back if you are interested in buying a t-shirt with your name and size. Also please mark your calendars for Wednesday September 26 at 6:30 so you can help us Pack the Stands in Pink!



Thank you!Megan Baker





HERE'S our UNDEFEATED VARSITY!




I have to put in my order for shirts ASAP!! So post here if you want one - THEY'RE only FIVE FRICKIN' DOLLARS PEOPLE!!!! I want everyone in these shirts and at the GAME!!!



AGAIN - They are only FIVE DOLLARS! Did I mention they were Five dollars?? Heres a picture below - They'll look like the ones on the right. Please post if you want me to order you a shirt - You can pay for it at the game, or you can get your five buckaroonies to me whenever. I mean, afterall, its five dollars. All proceeds are going to the SUSAN G. KOMEN FOUNDATION.




I have to tell the varsity coach how many shirts im going to need by FRIDAY! So post here if you want a shirt and what size. Post Post Post!!!


Feelin pretty good - our girls lost tonight and played their asses off and still lost in the third game and lost 31-29. So close!! It was a bummer but the girls were wired and played well. We're playing Deer Park tomorrow at Home.


POST HERE ASAP AND LET ME KNOW HOW MANY SHIRTS YOU WANT!!!

Oh yeah - One last thing, Im totally ripping this off Aileen's blog because it's (Say it like my brother), "HIL-lay-rious"....Back when all the cousins were little and Aileen was what? 30? Ha ha just kidding....apparently baby Katy let a stinker, and my husband really put on a show to express his distaste, even at the tender age of threeish. Id love to see him in those red plaid overalls again - how cute!~