Fort's Cancer Sux!!

I think my dad said it best, quoting Homer Simpson:
"This is the SUCKIEST SUCK THAT EVER SUCKED."

What can I say. This was a HORRIBLE day in Cincinnati. What is it with the Bengals playing to the level of every team they play? Id be scared to put them up against a college team, since most college teams probably should BEAT the Browns. I dont know what the answer is. Mom and Dad came down and we went to our new favorite restaurant, JB's - all you can eat wings during the Bengals games - whohoo! The four of us polished off eight pounds of wings. yessir. Healthy chemo diet begone!!! Oh yeah, here we all are, pissed off about the game: This is NOT what we were expecting....

Could I LOVE THIS SHOW ANY MORE????

Here's an update for those of you who are or arent keeping up with my favorite show dujour...Rock of Love! Its down to 2 - Jes & Heather. Crazy Lacey is out thank God. But guess what - I cant be surprised, I went online and googled "ROCK OF LOVE SPOILER" and did some hard-core investigating. Im on board with what I read. Jes wins over Heather, but I was sincerely bummed to read that its likely that Jes and Bret Michaels ARE NOT, read, ARE NOT together, and furthermore, the producers, who had Jes picked from the get go, apparently told her to "act nice" so the fans would like her more. What the FUDGE? You S.O.Bs....IT WORKED!!!! Ive been picturing Jes and Brets wedding for sometime now, based on her sincerity....Ive known she was a shoe-in from the get go. So even more than next weeks final episode, Im more excited for the "reunion show", because no doubt the two will have gone their separate ways, and it will give me a chance to see crazy, manipulative tattle-tale Lacey get slammed by the other contestants, as well as the obnoxious audience. Thats it for now.

OH YEAH! CHECK OUT THE TUB!!!!!

So Purty!!!! If any of you are interested, you can book an appointment at http://www.uglytub.com/ Tell them you have the $175 cupon. I think they advertise for like $225 or something, but the guy didnt ask me for the cupon so you should be good to go.

I AM PRETTY PISSED ABOUT THIS:

http://www.daytondailynews.com/n/content/oh/story/news/local/2007/09/12/ddn091207pink.html

Very nice. So the Archdiocese of Cincinnati wont allow it's girls volleyball teams to donate their funds to the Susan G. Komen foundation because they have contributed to Planned Parenthood. Really???? Thats super. Shuffling around pedophiles from church to church is only recently a concern, and this, THIS they're gonna take a stand on???

I can accept that the Catholic church doesnt agree with Planned Parenthood (although, lets face it, their unrealistic promotion of abstinence has probably led to WAY more shameful abortions than they'd like to admit), but if you're going to pick and choose what issues you want to stand on your soap box for, make sure you do your homework and make that call before you use all the resources and dontations the promoters worked so hard to achieve (FOR THE SUSAN G. KOMEN FOUNDATION)......What about the businesses who donated their profits on the t-shirt sales (for KOMEN) or the volleyballs (FOR KOMEN), what if they dont want their money going to organizations that are still trying to shove 15-year old, disproven science down the throats of women.....

Just in case you were wondering, ABORTION DOES NOT contribute to BREAST CANCER: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6x_Can_Having_an_Abortion_Cause_or_Contribute_to_Breast_Cancer.asp

Furthermore, do you think I would have had numerous doctors tell me that it was "ok to consider abortion" when I was pregnant with JP if they thought it was going to worsen my condition? Of course I never considered that, and you might be surprised to find out that I think abortion as a form of birth control is wrong and could never do it myself, I just think if a person is of the thinking that its ok, they're way past being convinced by a picketer to turn around. I think if more people were willing to save the hundreds of thousands of dollars on reproductive assistance and offer to love an unwanted child thats already been conceived, and if the time and money spent on "Abstinence programs" would be redirected to a little better birth control, the world would be a better place, and maybe people would feel a little less likely to take that route.

Trust me, Id LOVE to have just one of those babies!

Im just saying, if they dont like the fundraiser, have a separate function. Its as simple as that. Im not trying to get all controversial, and im actually a fairly open-minded person despite my liberal ways.

Geez, WHO's STANDING ON THEIR SOAPBOX NOW???? Sorry folks, I know you all dont agree with me, this just hit me a little hard.

BIG, SCARY PET SCAN ON TUESDAY.....

So I want to update you since my last post. I had a lot of people call me asking me if everything was ok, and that my posts werent usually that morose. I guess I just try to post mostly about the "ups" instead of the "downs".

This looming PET scan, to be perfectly honest, has me scared out of my wits, and im sure some of you are thinking, "With that Pro-Choice additude, God is definitely going to strike you down anyway!" Ha ha, ok, seriously though.

Remember last year? All the "hoopla", all the dare I say it, "media attention", my "healer experience", all the chi-gong, blah blah blah.....I really felt ready for that scan. Like I did my homework for it.

Now, I just feel like this is coming flat out of nowhere. I havent been doing my chigong, I havent seen any healers, and I havent been feeling well AT ALL. I suppose the fourteen hour days of fulltime work and chemo and coaching probably have kept me from doing much at all, but this scan just feels like the most important one Ill have and I dont feel "ready".

Physically, Im still feeling about 20%, and the best Ive felt since Ive been on this chemo has been about 70%! Also, for the last four days, Ive had bloody noses and Ive been blowing out blood clots. Sorry, i know thats so gross. Also, for the last three days, ive developed a high-pitched ringing in my ears that will not go away. I know Im not supposed to self diagnose on the internet, but it doesnt look like theres any sort of remedy out there short of "getting used to it". I have a digital watch in the dining room that goes off everyday and I was sitting in the living room and mom looks at me and says, "Is that thing going to stop?".......I COULDN'T HEAR IT!!!! Are you happy Clark??? IM DEAF!!!!!!

On the positive side, my last two tumor markers have gone down, and I guess I could look at it this way, If the chemo is making me feel THIS BAD, its got to be killing a lot more bad cells along with the good, right?

I guess we'll find out!!! I have a game tomorrow night at Country Day and then Im driving straight up to Dayton for my PET scan Tuesday morning at 7am. Yes, 7am, why do I subject myself to these early appointments? Ugh, geez.

One last thing, This Sunday's POSTSECRET is pretty jaw-dropping! http://postsecret.blogspot.com

What is everyone else's opinion on the Volley for the Cure issue? Im so curious. Am I out of line?