Hey All, The blog will be inaccessable from tomorrow afternoon (Sunday, the 23rd) for about a week for some maintenance. Come On back in a week!

Well, Here Goes!

WATCH THE PORT GET ACCESSED WITH YOUR VERY OWN EYES!!!!!

Joni was out today taking her Oncology Nurses Certification and she passed! Yay! Im sure she'll be sad to learn that she missed out on taking my port's virginity, though. Luckly Nurse Donna stepped right in and handled the situation. After the surgery yesterday they put this clear sticky tape over it so I could shower, and when I got to chemo, I tried to convince Donna that she could push the needle right through the plastic tape. Never have I been in this situation before, but I told nurse Donna with the certianty of a five-year med student, that ABSOLUTELY she could push that needle through the clear tape. She said, "Uh, Ive been doing this for FIFTEEN YEARS and you CANNOT push a needle through TEGADERM!!!! She was right. She took if off and quickly and painlessly pushed the access needle through the port and voila!:

PLEASE NOTE!!! I dont know if its the angle or what, but this video kinda looks like Im showing bare chest. But my falsie is actually on the other side and you are looking at my UPPER CHEST just under my shoulder blade. This is not intended to be erotic.

UPDATE! I cant belive I forgot to mention we have a new houseguest for three days! Dad has been taking a football coaches clinic in Sharonville so he's been crashing here at night for a couple days. Tonight I braved the icy roads to go out and get wood for the fireplace, and Doritos and Dad's favorite Cheese Corn Puffs. I had movies picked out for dad to choose when he got here. The Friday convention was done at 830, and we were expecting him home by 9:00. I called to check up on him, and he sounded like he was at hotel party......

.....He was! He ran into his college football teammate from Wilmington, "Mange", who was there with the rest of his hs coaching staff from Portsmouth. Dad was drinking beer and getting cozy with guys. (I let him take my camera with him to get a shot of his buddy)

ONE LAST THING....Mom had some second graders in the library the other day and was asking them about Presidents day.

"Do you all know why we had yesterday off?" she asked.

"PRESIDENTS DAY!", they all yelled.

"Now what do we know about presidents day?" She gets some feedback and further explains that two very popular presidents were born in February and so we have a holiday each year. She asks the children, "now what do you know about George Washington, the father of country?"

One little boy raises his hand and informs my mom, "He died on the cross for our sins!"

And of course this was the first image that popped into my head.....

Happy Belated Presidents Day.

Sorry, no gory pictures of the surgery....

And trust me, I asked. Like TWICE! Both of the nurses looked at me like, "um, yeah, we dont get paid for photography services"....one mentioned that the camera wouldnt be allowed in the sterile area. They must have seen our house after the beer pong tournament. That camera got around. The more I started to think about it, though, it probably wasnt a good idea. Any time Ive let my camera take off with someone without my supervision, it usually comes back with a fuzzy, but hairy mystery crotch shot. Not that that would happen in a hospital, but you never know. The last thing I want is to check my camera and see a picture of me on the operating table all passed out getting teabagged by the surgeon. Mom took this shot. This is of the scar from the first time Doc took it out. The scar has stretched a bit so he said he would tighten it up. Fine by me.
Here was my presurgery view. This was taken during one of the 27 second stretches when mom was not on the phone. Here she is, thinking about who to call next:
I think this was one of the anesthesiologists maybe. or a nurse. I dont know. There were three of them there and mom was all, "Hey! Lets get a picture for the blog!" Two of them immediately backed away and one jumped right in. Shoulda got her name.
This is me after surgery. I thought it was funny that he drew a circle with a dot so Joni could find it tomorrow...duh! Mom laughed and called it my third nipple. Fortscancersux has officially gone porn!
Here's a closeup of the scar....yeah. Not that big of a deal.
All Ive been yapping about all week was how excited I was to get "put under". I have a horrible time getting to sleep, so theres something euphoric about just getting dropped in a matter of seconds. I usually prefer that they tell me when they're going to push the sleepy juice, but all I remember is lying in this very cold, bright room with about five nurses scuttering about, all wearing face masks, and we started talking about college, and rugby, and how I met my husband, and we're laughing and....and...and.....I wake up in the recovery room.

Nobody told me! I think that might be one of the highlights of their day. I think I would enjoy getting someone totally engaged in a conversation and then secretly, without them knowing, press a magic button and watch them clunk out in mid speech. Im pretty sure thats what happened.

One thing Im proud of though, is the important interactions with my surgeons when i finally come back to life. When I got my first port in, I remember waking up before the surgery was over, seeing a blue tarp over my face, and calling for my surgeon, who was just finishing stitching me up.

"Liiiissssa. Liiisa."

"Im right here."

"Will you itch my nose?" (I meant scratch of course) Then a helper guy pulls the blue tarp off my face and rubs gauze pad on my nose, pretty much making it worse.

Today was no different. I wake up and look around. I see my surgeon busy writing on my chart about something. Ive got more important things to discuss though.

"Dr. Kirkpatrick?", I call. He quickly puts the pen and speedwalks to my bedside.

"Did you put the purple port in?" He walks away as he answers.

"No, it was a clear one."

Im only half lucid at this point but I still make an attempt to give a dissertation on how I found a picture of a purple port on the bard.com website and how I thought that might be the one they used....because I really know what the hell Im talking about.

By the time we left the snow was coming down at a pretty good clip and it took us an HOUR to get from finneytown to 75...should have NEVER Taken 275. Should have taken Regan to 75. Duh.

Finally got mom to watch "Under The Tuscan Sun" tonight. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie! Really packs a Hail Mary punch at the end, doesnt it?

I think tomorrow Im going to get some film footage of Joni sticking my port, so you can all be further educated on port protocol.

Thats it for today.

SURGERY TODAY! (Thursday)....

Your cliffs notes tutorial on Portacath's I found these great images to give you an idea of whats going on here....As you can see, I have used a copyrighted image so hopefully I dont get sued. You see the sacrifices I make for you??? you see??? This just shows where it goes....how the doc puts it in....etc....

Here are a few pics I pulled off Bard's site. I think these are legal. The purple thing is the port...that goes under my skin just under my right collarbone. The yellow butterfly thingy is what Joni uses to puncture the port through the skin. Joni will have me stuck and going Friday in a jiffy since she wont be avoiding me and my shitty veins.
This gives a close up view of the port and you can see the round screen that gets punctured.
Here is another side view of what the port looks like when its stuck and receiving chemo.

Im going to take my camera tomorrow and BEG the nurses or whoever to take some photos. Beware! Im hoping to get some pics while in surgery. Yummmy!!!

did anyone see the Lunar eclipse tonight? Very cool. I had no clue. Mom called me. Im glad she did. Basically did dishes all night. Still irrigating the sinues, still a little stuffy but its getting better I can feel it!

We had a little bit of snow again this morning so I wrote a nasty email to channel nine for pulling Good Morning America. I used phrases like "2 fargin inches of snow?", and used all caps with lots of exclamation points. ....im sure its really going to hit the news room hard. I signed it, "Annoyed in Finneytown".

That should take care of it.

Still irrigating...still slowly feeling better each day. Might just get this surgery after all! Still on target for Thursday at 11:30....Chemo Friday morning. Yee friggin haw.

Has anyone been tuning in to "THE UNIVERSE" on the History Channel? Best. Series. Ever!

Space is scary.

Ok, someone asked to see the pages. Since I was sick, I didnt really get that much done, but I did manage 10 2-pg spreads. I was mostly a zombie a whole time, and didnt even get halfway through my material. Ive got WAAAAY too many pics from college so I really have to trim things down - I still need to finish Junior/Senior year, which will probably be another forty pages, bc I really didnt have much from Freshman/Sophomore year. But here goes:

Jefferson Hall- Freshman Year Dorm:

Freshman Year Mom's weekend:

(That's O'Douls we're drinking there....wink, wink)
Ohio U Womens Rugby: A few snapshots from some freshman/sophomore year action.
Wyoming Road Trip - Josh, Krebs, Amber & I headed out to Wyoming in a Beretta and an '84 Tercel and spent the whole time praying the ever-stalling Tercel would make it back up a mountain and back home.
Wyoming Continued:

Sophomore Year - "Convo Chaos" - (Annie, Im gonna need your help on some of these names)

Sophomore Year Sibs Weekend & Misc. Soph Shots -
(Yes, Annie, O.L. got some real estate here....how couldnt he??)

Sophomore Rugby Shots - Columbus Classics, UD, Pittsburgh...
(click on the photo to see Stetson with hair ten years ago)I took enough photos the night I was called "Bjork", "Afro Puff" and a variety of other "freak" related nicknames for doing something wacky with my hair....... and a party at 28 Montrose, where we would live the following year:
Mom's weekend, Dads Weekend & our Sophomore trek to Bong Hill with the rugby rookies. Always a good time!
Well, I had my consult visit with Dr. Kirkpatrick at Bethesda who'll be putting my port in on Thursday right before chemo on Friday. Hopefully Ill be feeling better and this sinus infection (if thats what it is) will be long gone by then! Im going to keep doing the sinus irrigations...this is what Ive been using: (the first box)

Oh yeah, and Dr. Kirkpatrick wrote me a script for a Z-Pac so hopefully that will help, too. Im sick of blowing my nose!!!

Mess, Sweet Mess. -

Scrapbook Mountain February Crop 2008.

Im not going to get to into this as I am sick with a pretty bad sinus infection. I was sick most of the weekend blowing my nose and going to bed early so I hardly got ANYTHING done. I worked a little on my college scrapbook and did maybe 10-12 pages. It was a far cry from the momentum I had last November. This year we were back in the auxillary room where I was the very first time I came here. Back then I thought that we were the JV scrapbookers. Varsity was in the gym. This year, J-Mac said it was the V.I.P room, "without the bottles of vodka on the table:
The room had a chalkboard, which was fun. Stacy went to the bathroom, came in, and didnt notice anything on the board:
Aunt Helen supplied her group of 20 or so with matching pajamas - here's your favorite OU croppers:
And heres how we really felt about all the picture taking:
Here's the group picture. There were about 12 cameras laying on the table and about 4 women picking them up and randomly snapping pics. Luckly, I noticed mine getting picked up and excitedly said, "Oh, Oh, smile! Thats my camera!" so I think I got a good number of ladies not to look away. But I wasnt 100% of course. Jan seems bitter about something!

Can see her? Here you go!
Well, Im home, I havent even unpacked the car yet, Im tired as all get out because I didnt get great sleep because I was on the top bunk and I had to crawl down and go to the bathroom everytime I needed to blow my nose aftr I blew my nose in the dark and I heard somone have a full body convulsion since it was so loud.

I feel crappy. I need to get rid of this or they wont put my port in....or worse, they wont give me chemo. My sinuses have been a real sore spot for what seems like months. I did the nasal irrigation twice when I got home, and im going to take some tylenol cold/sinus right now. I dont know if I should even try antibiotics...they havent seemed to work for me the last few times Ive taken them.

Anybody have any suggestions for sinus issues? My nose is RAW.

Nite!

"The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now! "

- Navin R. Johnson

I totally thought of this when Brent informed me that "Forts Cancer Sux" actually has had enough google hits that it "prompts" you if you search it. So if you type "Forts C", it will give you the rest. Because I demand nothing but the best assistance for my blog seekers. Either that or Jami hasnt figured out to save it as a favorite and is googling it everyday:

I dont have much to add except something I already discussed over email today.

CINCINNATI: Home of the unnecessarily long local weather coverage.

Is it necessary to pull GMA for THREE FULL HOURS of LOCAL weather coverage? Seriously? Hey Derick, you said it would be like this last night. I looked out the window, saw the endless scroll of school closings and could have very well guessed that the roads weren’t great. If we gotta go to work, we gotta go to work. I need at least 15 min of Robin Roberts and Diane Sawyer to get going. I don’t give a $hit about your live coverage from Turfway Road and blow by blow information about how iced up the on-the-scene reporters umbrella got.

All Im saying is that when you take up 30% of the screen with a lower left hand live action doppler radar, and two separate ticker scrolls of closings, time and temp on the right, YOU DO NOT NEED AN ALL MORNING BROADCAST TO STATE THE OBVIOUS!!! I love these gals:

We're not big fans of local news in general, and so it just annoying when they get all jacked up over a little snow & ice. And thats just cutting into GMA! Dont even get me started when they hog up 20 min over a line of thunderstorms.

Well, I think its settled. Im scrapbooking "The College Years" this weekend at scrapbook mountain. I was thinking about doing high school, and I just didnt feel inspired. I havent really gotten excited about the College Years yet - Ive looked at those pictures a gazillion times! Luckly Ill have Stacy, Jami & Alisa there to help me out with names and events to journal. Ill just need to get going and Ill get excited. I havent really had time to do any prep work ahead of time, so we'll see how much I get done. I may start some sorting/cropping tomorrow and Thursday but dont expect a repeat of november!

Well, theres still a mountain of dishes and we're tag teaming them right now....

THROWDOWN IN FINNEYTOWN 2008

Im not going to write much because the photos speak for themselves....I tried to get a shot of each team but fell short by a few teams. Sorry all! Thanks to those who brought goodies to share with jmac's chicken and ham. Everything was great! Here we are(above), Firebird Nation, playing our first and only match. We were taken down by the "Cadets" (Patty & Dan). I cant say either of us really tried that much. you dont want to win your own tournament, and its actually kind of nice to not care for the rest of the night! Oh yeah, and we're kinda lousy at beer pong.

Ut-Oh! Look who it is! Fort's Imports - back for another shot to regain their 2007 Championship title. But it wasnt to be. Team Punishment knocked them out in the first round.

Here's Jensen of "Team Punishment"....Eva was his partner, but I didnt get a team shot of those two. I think Team Punishment got knocked out in the next round though.
The garage was a happenin' but cold place, as it was last year. My parents asked why we have all these fall/winter parties where everyone is inside. We do have a big backyard, but anyone at this party will attest to the fact that the kelts are hands down the loudest drinkers in the tri-state area. Its best to keep this group surrounded by four walls if we want to keep the neigbors from calling the cops.
"Team Bacardi" (Tracy & Ross)....knocked out by Pong-a-long-a-ding-dong in the first round.
The Soldiers! My cousin Andy (left) and his buddy Alex came down from Springfield and represented well, knocking out "Perfect Strangers" (my brother Nick and co-worker Ray) in the first round. The success wouldnt last though, and they were done in the second round.
Team "Beauty and the Geek" en route to losing to team "Seal the Deal" (Tony and Pauly).
Here they are, the team that brought a dynasty down: The Cadets (Patty & Dan)
Now, while all the games are being played in the basement and the garage, all but eight people have to find something to pass the time. Filley Jr. and some of the Kelts created "Beer Case Armor" complete with sword and shield in the kitchen:

This was the only shot I had of the Brackets....and youcant even read it very well. We spent more time working on these brackets than we did on any aspect of preparation for this party. Jmac drew the names, and I drew up the banner:

Team "Blame Canada" - taken out by "Team Bono Sucks" in the first round:

What do you do when the keg runs out before the tournament is over? Send out the sober pregnant lady and and super strong, strapping young lad to the rescue!
(FYI: Nick's outfit is the one half of team Perfect Strangers. I named them that just becuase they didnt know each other, but it turns out, Nick wanted to dress like Balki, suspenders and an novelty tee. It actually worked out because his teammate Ray, is from Chicago, Just like Cousin Larry!) We were singing the Perfect Strangers theme song all day after looking it up on youtube:

Once the keg was kicked, the Potpourri O'Beer took over. (there were about 5 beers left this AM)
The "Richie Valens Fan Club" represents:
Dont even ask:

They guys on Team Bono Sucks really hate Bono:
"The Teabaggers": Darian & Kevin drove all the way from Michigan to get knocked out in the second round:
This vest is worthy of a second look:
Teabaggers breakin it down in the basement!
J-Mac wore his dad's old basketball referee jersey. To say it fit snugly would be an understatement.


Trace, Ang & I:

Pong-A-Long-A-Ding-Dong: (Ang & Rachel) survived till the Final Four!
Team "Seal the Deal" Paul & Tony - Final Four achievers, only to be beat by "Running with Scissors"

Bono Sucks - my predicted team to win. I didnt know of any team entered that takes drinking games more seriously. This wasnt a recreational event. This was business, and business was good until......
Team Running with Scissors (Amy & Chris) walked away with the Championship (and the banner). I couldnt even watch the championship match...it was too stressful. Way to go guys & gals!
Oh yeah! Then this dude showed up in a drunken stupor and basically face-planted into the basement floor....twice. Folks, alcohol and concrete can be a dangerous mix. This gentleman was later given the helmet Bill had on for obvious reasons. (Yes he is fine) This one had me a little worried, but he was being well looked after and was taken home by cab. Other than my cousin getting bit by someone (WTF??) and Nick cutting himself while getting into the ham, no other injuries were sustained. And oh my oh my, how the beer pong tournaments leave our house an ABSOLUTE DISASTER. We've probably done about 20% of the cleaning that needs to be done and the house still reeks of stale beer.


John was up until 4 am waiting for the last people to leave, and I was out by 1am. He slept in pretty late and I went to UDF for the Sunday paper and some donuts. Get this: There are reeeely slim pickins at 2:30 on Sunday afternoon in the krispy creme case, so I grab a bag and start pulling out what I like, (Devilsfood & blueberry cake) and what John likes, (chocolate covered creme filled). There was a girl approaching the case. I took the last bavarian creme and went for one of the white cremes, she was kind of hovering and must have made me nervous and as I was pulling out the white creme donut, my hand hit the rack and I DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR!!!

When I went to pick it up to throw it away, she leans in real quick and reaches her hand into the case and quickly snatches up the last one!!! I just rolled my eyes. Im often faced with the viceral need to punch unnecessarily competitive people in the face, but I always walk away. (fun competitive is OK - Being nasty is NOT.)

Thanks to all who showed up! Another great weekend. Now get your butts back here and clean this place up.