Fort's Cancer Sux!!

INDIAN LAKE WEEKEND RECAP...

Well, I promised that I would "Get John and his dad drunk" in the name of blog fodder, but guess what? In order to do that, Ive got to stay up for it, and I just wasnt feelin it!

We arrived Friday around dinner time- which only means one thing. Tilton' Hilton. Now everytime I talk to someone who's been or frequents Indian Lake, I hear the same things..."Man, you gotta go to Cranberry, Atchesons, Froggys, etc.."

Those are all potential second stops on route to the Tilton Hilton. For one, its a 4 minute pontoon boat ride from the cottage, and secondly, they serve half pound hamburgers. I dont think Ive ever been here when that wasnt the first stop.

As much as I love this place and think about their cheeseburgers the entire ride up to the lake, they have their share of problems, and Im not talking about the floor that "tilts" (it used to be an old icehouse, hence, "Tilton' Hilton"...)

Im talking about the 30 or so Geese that infest the grassy area between the docks and the patio. That people eat on. We docked the boat and there was seriously more real estate covered in goose shit than there was grass. I was just gross. But we're troopers, you see. Its just a sacrifice you make to get to those burgers.

We make it safely to the patio and place our order, glancing menacingly over towards these geese who couldnt be less afraid of us.

For every person of marginal intelligence who tries to shoo the geese away in a feeble attempt to prevent a case of bird flu, botulism, or feathers in their onion chips, theres a redneck with his big-banged, air-brushed t-shirt wearing girlfriend, "snapping" them back to the patio with burger buns. They think its cute.

They also think its cute to weave their legs together and make out after every bite, every comment. And I know that dude was turned on becuase I was close enough to see his rock hard nipples through his cut-sleeved t-shirt....you know the ones, where you can see an entire torso when they lift their arms? Apparently if the t-shirt material isnt colorfully announcing your favorite NASCAR driver, its not necessary. Its incredibly SEXY!

So these geese are just skipping on into the patio like they own the place, and nobody says ANYTHING...johns dad pipes up with a "Git the HELL outta here" just as one takes a greasy, slimy SHIT right under the table next to us. Mmmm....

Thats what I like about the Tilton Hilton - you can make fun of the people you think you're better than, as well as the people who think they're better than you. As soon as we were all done bitching about why they "Dont do anything about these GEESE!!" we turned around and quitely picked on the two girls who were dressed like this was their last stop on the way to the Oscars, and group of "Hoity-Toity" middle-agers who actually brought a towel to put on the picnic table as a table cloth. What abunch of amatures!! Ha!

That wasnt a very late night. Before I go into the fun that was Saturday morning, Id like to just make a point to say how much fun indian lake is, and that the Kelts need to figure something out for this summer...Brendan says his cottage is booked, but Im just putting a bug in his ear to let us know if it opens up again... see how much fun we had last year???


Getting ready to head over to the Tilton from the McLaughlins...


Playing a little Left, Right, Center at the cottage...what good times those were!

Saturday morning...John's up before I am, and I head upstairs to find what will consume most of the morning. World Cup Soccer.

Now before I go into this tirade I would like to make a few apologies. Firstly to Tom Franz and his daughter Julie (Franz) Cates, along with the whole soccer loving Franz clan. They, more than anyone else, tried to sculpt my soccers skills more than anyone throughout my fourth through 7th-ish grade years. I was a chunky gal, and they did what they could. And I appreciate it.

But once super rocket-launched throw-ins and kicking the ball in the opposite direction as hard and as far as I could was no longer a useful strategy, I was deemed useless. I never wanted to be a goalie and you can only move the fat, slow kids back positions so far. As soon as it was physically grueling to survive a game at stopper, I was done for.

So I walk into the living room and I squint my eyes to check out the score. Its gonna start now...."Oh! Look!" I Say, "Zero to Zero, twenty mintutes in! How exciting!!!" It was a lame comment, and earned me what I think is probably the dirtiest, disgusted look from John that hes ever given me. To my face.

Im not one for apologies but the look was so piercing, that I retorted, "Geez, I was just KIDDING!" (but I wasnt) For the record, I think the world cup is great. I think its awesome how the ENTIRE WORLD, and some people in America get into this thing. Its pretty incredible and the commercials are really cool. And David Beckham is hot. Watching these fans get so pumped up is amazing, and it puts any American fanfare for any sport to shame. Im not saying I dont appreciate it.


Someone should bottle that shit.


But I just dont get it. I find soccer the athletic equivient of blue balls. (I dont know if thats appropriate for this blog, but I couldnt think of any thing else.)

Which brings me to my biggest regret of the morning, that I even made that "Zero to Zero" comment...it was lame, and John made it very clear that no more soccer bashing would take place this morning. I was pissed because as I sat there working on that puzzle, there was some GREAT material on the tip of my tounge that I had to keep to myself...until now.

Back to the, Soccer is the athletic equivilent of blue balls. One team gets a 3 on 2 break and we get all excited, and then they dont score. At least in pee wee soccer you can count on the goalie picking their nose or doing cartwheels or just sucking in general...you can count that some kid is going to score.

I just wanted to say, "OH! OH! Here they come again!! They've got a good chance to score!! GETUP! GETUP! I predict they're NOT going to score though!! OHHHHHHH......And they dont. Just like they didnt on the other 27 breakaways we've witnessed in the last 85 minutes."

See, that might earn me a well deserved night on the couch. But I kept my mouth shut, becuase I know how much he loves it, and how much a lot of my friends love it, so Im just going to keep my mouth shut. I know John doesnt read this, so please no one remind him to check it out. Kay?

There were a few more games and I watched quitely as something like 3 total goals were scored over the course of the morning. Shocking.

Maybe I just sucked at soccer and thats why I Dont get it. Volleyball involved much less running. Acutally no running once I started playing for buirley! Im ok to admit that openly. I feel the same way about soccer as I do about softball, I ROYALLY SUCK at it and therefore dont want anything to do with it.

I wont play softball because Ill strike out everytime, drop every fly ball and duck if god forbid someone was dumb enough to put me in the infield. And thats not fun, no matter how drunk I am.

Ok, im done with that.

John's sister Aileen and her fiancee Tom came up to the cottage last night for dinner. Lots of good stories - although we did spend a lot of time talking about rodents getting into houses for some reason...bats, squirrels, mice, you name it, one of us has killed one.

I have to say my favorite story of the night was hearing about how Aileen, at the age of five, showed up at her parents doorstep, with a new pet. "Can I keep it?", she asked of the dead squirrel perched on her shoulder. You cant deny it would have been an obiedient pet.

I want to keep posting pictures here because I personally dont like reading, but I dont have a digital camera so I have to use either old shots, or ones my mom just took...but Im trying to keep you people entertained, so check this one out: Its TOTALLY out of season, but I found it in my old emails...this was the card my friend stacy's sister sent out for Christmas last year...too cute not to share:




HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD WEEK! I dont have anything spectacular planned for the next few days but you know Ill keep you informed if anything noteworthy happens..

:)