Fort's Cancer Sux!!

INTRODUCING JONI BRAGG, best nurse EVER:


Before I tell you the story about why Joni is the awesomest, rockin chemo nurse EVER, I have to tell you about how mom and I successfully managed to piss dad off last night. For those of you who have been to my folks house, you know my dads new baby is the big screen tv with the surround sound...Man! You've never heard a Moody Blues concert till you've heard it at a thousand decibles...and Top Gun? Dont even talk to him when that whole thing is going on!!!

Mom and I watched, "In her Shoes" last night. Really cute movie, neither here nor there (Greg Gorosics that ones for you)...so when its over, we're sitting there like two Chimpanzees with three remotes trying to figure out how to get the thing back to cable. (John/Kyra...remember the "Saw" night a Toby's?)

Seriously, we just sat there button mashing for about 20 min and succesfully managed to, in my dads words, "F**K it up so bad we gotta call the cable company". Oops! I spent 15 minutes googling for a funny picture of two chimps with a remote control but with no luck. But just imagine it. Its funny.

Ok - now for today's chemo treatment:

Would you belive I had to go through the same crap again today as I did the last time? My hemoglobin SUCKS!!! Not that I know what it does or what its significance is, but it SUCKS. Im sorry. It SUX.

So Joni comes back after taking my blood work today (shes the one who denied me the last time because I had "poopy counts"...I take that back: she didnt deny me, the mystery doctor in the back did. Sorry Joni) and tells me that my hemoglobin is really low.

I instruct her to "Page Dr. Romer" as if this were some life threating emergency...they couldnt page him bc he was out of state but I told her to take those results back to the Doctor and ASSURE him that Dr. Romer would let me get chemo if and only if I had a pulse, and that the last time he would have let me, and blah blah blah, dont send me a way, blah blah blah, and seriously, I feel fine, blah blah blah...so she goes off and is gone for about 15 min...

She comes back with that little bag of clear poison and informed me that she was successful in getting me ok'd with the dr. who was back there. SO awesome! So anyway, hats off to Joni for stepping up for me and seriously making my weekend. I will have never been so grateful for someone contributing to my sick, weak, headachy, miserable weekend glued to the couch.

Guess where we went for breakfast? Seriously. Im not even going to go there. Same place. Same dish. Same people...me, mom, ang, Jean...and a surprise visit from Grandma Fortener! I was extremely rude in forgetting to call Jean and let her know my treatment got suspended for an hour or so, so she and gma had to hold down the fort for how ever long it took us to get there. Throw in that I was supposed to be there at 930...which means grandma was there at 845...oops sorry Roz.

Then...what you've all been waiting for....the trip to Kil'n Time! What a fun, relaxing, theraputic, obscenely expensive way to spend an afternoon!!

Ive posted some pics of all our works of art....ang did the frame with the pink ribbons, Laura made the heart jewelry dish for me, which evolved into a yellow dotted monstrosity by the end of the day and the blue cross with McCall on it.

It too, was ambushed by Laura and her last minute yellow dots...I think the guy working there was making her nervous because she's such a rebel and kept removing the paint bottles from the shelves when the signs CLEARLY instruct you to squirt it into your pallet and LEAVE IT THERE.

He would come by the table and stand there pointing at the big bottle paint, as if to say, "See, ma'am, the 2nd graders can follow these directions, why cant you?"
But we wont bash. He was kind enough to take the picture of all of us.

So we get to pick them up in a week - Ill be sure to post those pics too, because they wont look anything like this.