Fort's Cancer Sux!!

Pam Fortener wraps up a 30-Year Softball Career, Just 2 weeks shy of her 50th Birthday, with a BANG! (and a bruise....and a pulled hamstring....)

Well, now we're all caught up. My sister in law should be in stable condition and all is right in the world. Today I was one of the featured speakers at the Making Strides kickoff breakfast in Dayton. About 400 or so corporate sponsors, walkers, surviors, etc. (It was a pretty cool experience but I wont post about that till I have some pictures later..)

Since we had to check in at 7-fricking-thirty in the morning, I of course spent the night at the folks place and got up to Dayton early enough to catch my mom's last softball game with the once Tank's, now Phone Booth Lounge women's softball team. 30 years, Injury-free, just 2 weeks shy of her 50th birthday and what am I doing in the last inning?? Take a look:

Thats right folks, the man upstairs has quite the sense of humor doesnt he? All I remember seeing my mom up to bat, looking away, hearing about 40 people give a collective "Ohhhhhh" and look up to see a cloud of dust. When the dust settled, my brother Nick (who was coaching 1st base) was hovered over her. I missed it but apparently she took quite the tumble. She says her leg gave out, others say she tripped on the chalk line, but I think tripping over first base just sounds funnier so thats the story Im sticking with.

When she got up she felt a little sick, and some of the girls on the other team said she looked like she hit her head so they just called the paramedics to be safe. She could hardly walk and when they finally moved her off the field behind home plate, and there were eight people all hovering around her asking her if she felt ok, she was trying to disperse the crowd and caught my eye and mouthed to me, "I have to FART!" and of course I just started laughing. Then she really had me laughing when she added she had "Kwamps Wheel Bad"....

(Funny side story: Once when my brother was like four, he went over to the neighbors house and informed them that "My mom has kwamps wheel bad"...they still bring it up to this day, and is aways one way to make yourself smile when you're enduring back breaking cramps. Seriously, just say it to yourself: "I have kwamps wheel bad" Its genius.)

Anyhoo - here's mom with her boys when we arrived at the hospital:


She was finally released around 10, she has a bruised rib or two and a pulled hammy. She and dad went out for a beer...THATS ALL SHE WANTED TO DO!!!...picked up her vicodin and they were home by eleven. She's still having a hard time getting around and walks like a cute little old lady. When she and dad were walking through the parking garage this morning holding hands, it was so cute, like a glimpse into the future!! But other than that, she'll probably be just a little achy for a few weeks.