I didnt intend for this to turn into the laugh riot it became. All Stacy did was email me a simple question. I wasn't even trying to be funny. She just asked me a question that I didnt know the answer to, and since I knew she was out of town and on business (and not watching tv) I thought Id have some fun.
From Stacy:
"Can you check to see who got kicked off DWTS? thx"
She didn't have access to the internet and entrusted me with my google-saavy ways to research a simple answer. I knew Heather Mills McCartney didnt get kicked off, but I shot off a quick response:
"It was the chick with the fake leg"
Stacy just got this Treo for work, its like a Blackberry and I hate when she uses it. Lots of junior high text-speak....R U there? Thx. Im not crazy about it. Shes traveling alot now so most of her emails are one liners and a real disappointment. She responds:
"WHAT??? Billy ray cyrus really sucked! I am shocked!"
I couldnt believe that she actually bought it. That no one around her knew the truth. Hmmm...I thought. Ive already lied. The damage has been done. Why not keep it going? So I email her back the following:
"She was on the today show this morning crying, saying how she disappointed all the people with prosthesises. It was kind of annoying.
She said she thought that it was because of what was going on in her personal life."
That was a great lie. I elaborated on a lie with true-to-form embellishments. All the loosers end up on the Today show. Survior, The Bachelor... They all talk about their experience. She would definitely believe that. And she really did. She shoots back:
"Uh..yea... You screwed over a beatle. What does she expect?"
I felt like I had a dollar on a string and she stepping towards it every time I pulled the string. I would respond to her just once more, and this time, I was going to lay it on thick, hopefully so thick that she would call my bluff:
"She started defending herself, saying that after you live with that kind of money, its impossible to go back to middle class, blah, blah...she said that her shiz-tsu got violently ill when they changed the usual grooming treaments....it was pathetic."
I dont know where these lines were coming from, but I was sitting at my computer giggling the whole time. Patting myself on the back for a job well done.
She never did respond to that email, so I envisioned her reading the treo, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "Oh Fort. You got me this time!" That last email was pretty over the top, and I fully accepted that she finally caught on or found out the truth from an outside source and just left it at that. That was two days ago.
Today I got a email from her (A super short email) Stating that she had just gotten home from her trip. I responded:
"You do realize I was lying about that whole Heather Mills thing dont you?"
No response. Shortly thereafter, I get a phone call on my cell. I dont recognize the number so I let it go to voicemail. There is a message. It is stacy. It goes something like this,
"Um....yeah....this is your former friend Stacy. I just wanted to let you know that, um, NO, I DID not know you were lying about Heather Mills getting kicked off, and I just got done telling my new boss ALLLLL ABOUT her getting kicked off, and how I just couldnt belive it, and how she was on the Today Show, and um, you made me look like a total F**king dumbass, and um, now Im going to probably have to look for another job, and um, the next time you email me a joke, um, how bout you go ahead and let me know you're lying before I go running off and telling everybody...."
It does sound harsh, but I knew better, thats her fake mean voice. I played it on speakerphone for everybody at work and they were all in hysterics. I think she's over it now. I told her to tell her boss that the chemo makes me lie.
I also got into a similar situation when I sent out what I thought was information that came from a solid source that sinbad Had died a few weeks ago. It was not true, and by the time I did a background check it was too late, Angie had already forwarded to fifty people. Ok, she said Fifty people, and I was all, "ANGIE! What FIFTY people did you email that to?" And she says, "Well, it was more like Seven people, but STILL."
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