Fort's Cancer Sux!!

Weekend Recap....
(Chili Cookoff Pics at Bottom!!!)
This may go down as one of the most non-stop weekends, If you dont count the wiggle scissor excitement of Scrapbook Mountain. For starters, Friday night was a Ya-Ya night! Brenda, Jess, Jennifer, Jess, Jodi, Sharon, Karyn, Patsy, Mom & I stayed at the Amerisuites just a few miles from our house. Ordered some pizza and spent the evening strictly upholding hotel rules and regulations. That was sarcasm, and I will not elaborate.

What would everyone do? Drink? Smoke? Do Drugs? OF COURSE NOT! I made sure everyone had plenty of exciting things to do ALL EVENING!!!!:

What you are about to witness is an elaborate hoax to try and unload some of Jodi's kittens. Sharon and Jodi announce they have a special game planned for all to join in. We all wait with baited breath to find out what awaits. The game, for what I can remember, involves them drawing names out of bag, when your name is drawn, you have 30 seconds to blurt out 6 words that start with the first letter of your first name....and a few of us get pulled and go for it. (Interesting side note: most of Mom's "P" words were phallic in nature. That Dirty Pirate Hooker!) Anyway, after about four or five us went, we were informed that "YAY!" we each won a kitten!!! Dissapointed faces all around. Shame on you girls. WEnt to bed at a reasonable hour and scarfed down a nice breakfast in the morning and said our goodbyes....I had to rush to an appointment I DID NOT want to be at:

Ok, for the record, I was one of those jerk-offs that used to brag about not having any cavities. No longer, friends. I will swipe the cancer card on this one. I was told it can have adverse effects on your teeth...UM, Ya THINK???......YA THINK???? FIVE CAVITIES on ONE SIDE??? Im embarassed, almost embarassed as I was to look like I had shingles on the left side of my face for half a day. And I wasnt able to just go home and rest it off....had to haul ass home and get ready to head to Haps and meet Harry and Jean for the UC Football game that afternoon. I called Jean and told her what was going on and how hard it would be for me to put down a beer. She offered to bring me a straw, and its a damn good thing. Even with the straw I still had a few "Dribble Moments" where beer was just literally falling out of my mouth. SEXY!!! Thanks for the straw Jean!!!

So, as a few of you know, my husband does not want for much. But he does have this pipe dream to transform the den Ive worked so hard on into a 1st class Irish Pub. He has measured it, drawn up plans, and Ive even caught him shopping for Kegerators online. So it turns out, we were both drooling at Haps, only his was over the Keg cooler with two taps on the porch that Danny was trying to sell. Danny was there, and the two of them worked out a price that was fair, and we walked away with Four Thousand Pound Kegerator with two taps that we had a one month to get out. We'll be taking out the shelving in the garage and putting it back there. The den is mine again.
Had about 15 minutes to spend with the guys who were out playing touch before we had to take off for the game. Jean & Pauly:

Off to the UC Bearcats Game!!!
Jean & I had the pleasure of sitting in front of JMac and Harry...dont spill that Beer!
Ok, back track....we pull into the parking garage behind a long line of cars making their way to the top of the garage, and we find this RANDOM spot that the 10 cars in front of us didnt take....and who's pounding beers in the spot right next to it? None other than Ryan Robertson & Matt Lanese, Nick's old high school buddies!!! It was as if God himself was holding that parking spot for us, and made sure our friends had plenty of beer to share:
We had great seats in the student section:

Here's a good clip of the starting ceremonies - Jean is NOT pumped, but J-Mac certianly is!!! (turn your volume down, I was told these are incredibly loud and I dont know how to change that....)




We got back to our car at Hap's and headed off to the party source to pick up a Keg of Christian Morelein for the.....wait for it....wait for it......

2nd ANNUAL CHILI COOK-OFF!!!!!

As I write this, it is 7:40pm and Ive gotten a little bit of cleaning done. Apparently some lucky bastards have tomorrow off (Veterans Day), and, after the ping pong table was cleaned off, decided to start a game of beer pong with the left-over keg beer. They are playing as I write this. Way to go boys! Dont give up! Here's the evenings recap as far as I can tell:

It was a beautiful, crisp, fall morning....we set up the tailgating tent outside the garage just to add some more coverage while people lingered around the food....as it turns out, it started raining at a pretty good clip, thundering and lightning at one point, so we busted out the green tent tarp and it made for EXCELLENT additional coverage:

Curt, Ziggy, Hula, Pauly & Tony discuss chili strategies....one thing I will say about the chili cookoffs, the MEN far outdo the women when it comes to chili submissions. Pauly was the defending champion from last year....Tony was defending runner up and curt was the defending "Fireman's Award" champion from 2006:
Stewy & I just chillin. Like the new kelts jersey? I traded my old scrapbooking rolling cart for it...Ive outgrown it and she's just getting started:
Emma!!! What did you think of Pam's Chili??
Here, everyone gets ready to get to business. Once the pots are open for all, its quiet and serious. People are taking notes on each of the THIRTEEN SUBMISSIONS. We changed up the voting and ALL were eligible to vote. I ate too much of my first submission and had to lower it to smaller spoonfulls for the rest. It was tough trying EACH and every one - Im stuffed.
Those who didnt bring chili still represented well with various grazing items....this table is what seriously wounded me in my attempt to try all the chilis. This was a non-stop four hour gluttonous consumption event. Oh, who am I kidding. Five hours. We ate non stop for five hours.
At any typical party, you can always count on finding the Schenkes and the Schniebers hanging out by the keg. Today was no different:
We took this shot eight times before we both approved of one. We're vain.

Yay! Firetime!!! Mom and Dad picked up some firewood for us and the fireplace was blazing all night. Interestingly enough, it wasnt the only thing!! Here, Grandma Fortener, dad, Elizabeth & mom let the chili settle:
Once the game got started, everyone had till the end of the 1st quarter to get their votes in before getting settled to watch the Bengals vs Baltimore:
J-Mac retires to the guest room to tally the votes: He takes this very seriously. Oops! Sorry! Im out! Im out!!!
Everyone gathered out in the front yard for the results to be announced.
DRUMROLL PLEASE...........

SECOND RUNNER-UP:

Dave "HULA" Hulafeld

Hula's entry had a hint of curry in it. Everyone remarked on what an interesting addition it was to the dish. Later, in a drunken stupor, Hula confessed that he just ran out of chili powder and grabbed the nearest item in his pantry:

FIRST RUNNER-UP:

Casey Schnieber and his "Spite Chili"

So, Stacy informed me that Casey was making "Spite Chili", because a few nights ago, Casey mentioned that he might make a chili for the cookoff. "You WON'T make ANYTHING for that cookoff, Casey, " Stacy informed him. So he made it to spite her. It's surprise ingredient was yellow squash & plenty of spices! Good Job, Case! Below, Casey and J-Mac look spiteful: (You showed us)

FIREMAN'S Award:

Tony Schenke!
Tony jacked up his chili a bit this year to take the Hot & Spicy "Firemans Award". Last year's 1st runner up is going two years with an award. Good Job Tony!

The Archery Award "Just a Bit off the Mark" (WORST CHILI):

PAM FORTENER

And, Oh, no......You can see my husband's sheer disapointment to have to give the Worst Chili award to his mother-in-law. Pam's white chicken chili was heavy on the white beans and a little soupy for most people's taste. But she WILL Tell you that a few people voted hers as #1. J-mac did mention that a few people DID NOT vote for a last place entry. Mom confessed that she did not, and dad just shook his head and said, "Pam, nice girls always finish last":

After she got the award dad starts to announce that he made some "Suggestions" while she was making the chili and that it was basically, "All her fault"....way to back up the ol' lady, dad:

AND THE CHILI COOKOFF GRAND CHAMPION AWARD GOES TO.......

Dave "FUNHATER" Graf!!!

Funhater's chili was the first I tried, and I announced that all 12 chili's would have to beat this one to win. And none did, In my opinion. It was a white chicken chili that had jalapeno's and just the right amount of cayenne. It was, in a word, spectacular. And I know all you chili purists cant stand a white chicken winning a chili cookoff, but this shi*t was, as J-Mac would say, "The Jam" What we later found out though, was that Hater "Fronted" the money and had two of his friends, Heather & Jen, ACTUALLY made the chili. Over heard after the awards ceremony: "Hater, why dont you pay Schnieber to play for the Kelts under your name??" Classic. Here, Funhater accepts Heather & Jen's 1st place trophy:

What a weekend! Thanks to all who participated and brought chili, etc....looking forward to Next Years! I know what you're all thinking:

FOUR MONTHS TILL THE "Throwdown in Finneytown" 2nd Annual BEER PONG TOURNAMENT!!!!!!!