Its been a long week. Ive been REAL busy - you know, stuffing my face 24 hours a day, drinking beer like I did when I was 22, sleeping in and taking up so much real estate on my parents couch I was on the verge of getting charged rent by the time we left on Christmas.
Thursday I went up to Dayton for mom's school play. This was put on by the Moraine Meadows 4th graders, my mom and Mr. Stucky. The play was "She's Wicked!", Josh's adaptation of "Wicked" - Mom played the headmistress (or something to that effect) of the witches school. Below are the characters you all know and love:
Shelly, mom, GMa Fortener & GPa Rotert...
And of course, Kettering's finest always end the evening at a local watering hole!
Here's a video clip I took at the play - dont forget to turn your volume down first and then turn it up, these sometimes are LOUD.
You think I like to tell stories about my high school sports glory days? Ive got nothing on Cousin Carly! Nick and I went to the Fairmont-Centerville game and it wasnt pretty. (Screw you, Stewy!) Overheard at the game - Nick: "Riddle me THIS, how in the HELL does a DI varsity boys team score TWO points in the first quarter?" They ended up redeeming themselves point-wise, but still lost the game.
Oh yeah, on my way home Friday night, I got a speeding ticket on Woodman coming around the bend by Woodman Lanes. I knew I was flying, (55 in a 35, but my ticket was only 50 in a 35) and when I saw the bright quickly show up behind me, I pretty much knew my fate. Here's one thing I hate though - WHY WHY WHY do they alway ask, "Uh, ma'am, do you know how fast you were going?" I came up with like FIVE possible answers in my head and none were suitable for saying out loud:
- Um, NO. But I bet you're going to tell me.
- I was going as fast as Ive been going around that corner for the last fifteen years.
- Why would you do this to someone on Christmas?
- I guess my SR5ER license plate gets no sympathy from you, huh.
- I have diarrhea.
I have always maintained that anyone should get off using the diarrhea excuse and yet I have never used it in any of my 5-6 speeding tickets. Its so brilliant! what I also wanted to add to the cop was that if I only get ONE ticket for speeding down woodman in 15 years, THAT, my friend, is a success story. I kept that to myself though.
Saturday we put a big group together to go see a stand-up comedian downtown. He's my friends brother who just moved back into town from LA. It was a great show and we had 18 people in our group - friends, family, others. We'll just give Kenny a free pass for getting spooked by someone in the audience and giving us the most awkward 20 minutes for his finale.....his wife was due to have a baby that day! (She had the baby on Christmas) Had a great time though - all headed to Newcoms for a round before the show:
We all agreed this is the skinniest Nick's looked all year! 
Monday night was mass at Trinity followed by the Fortener Family Christmas. Of course we were there a whole hour early so we had plenty of time to hang out. The church was beautiful. This is where Nick and Mere have been going, and the family has gone there the last two Christmases, ever since Nick and Mere were married there, and Grandma's funeral was there. Grandpa Rotert has been going there for awhile. I kind of like it more than Ascension - its definitely prettier!
We shoved dad to the end of the pew so he could save seats. 
That's my husband, Mr. Holier-than-thou,
This was the Children's mass, and all the little kids were dressed up and the little girl dressed as Mary is holding ar REAL baby, that slept the whole time! (someone mentioned Benadryl)
And back home for the Fortener Christmas, which has now evolved into a Frat party, thanks to most of my cousins being "Of age"
I get cozy with Amy, David & Mike:
Awwww...Mom & Grandpa.
Ryan, Andy, Chris & Joey:
Awwwww......
Nick's head is TWICE the size of moms!
Yes, Stacy - thats my cousin's playing caps - although the younger kids werent drinking, I still think we contributed to their delinquincy......
....by making Willie keep score during the game. Where the sober 8-year olds when we were in college? They make the greatest scorekeepers!!!
Andy kicked my butt the first game....
...And then he beat nick.....
And then he lost to the greatest Caps player of them all....BRANDON!!!
After all the family left, I skipped down the street (in my skirt & hose...oops) down to Danny Barbers house and Ambushed his family Christmas. he said he might be up for going out that night & they were winding down anyway, so he obliged. He came over to our house where Nick and Meredith were too tired to go out, and after Nick made eight jokes about how many times Danny broke his collarbone growing up, and he and I got into a heated argument over which one of us was better friends with Danny growing up, the three of us headed out to Taggarts, and then Partners, and then home....
And of course, we had to be the cat-people that we are and dress up the cat for the holidays! (Thanks, Karen!...you were right, he absolutely spazzed for about 15 minutes but actually did manage to get it off with his hind legs, he still loves playing with it though!)
Sorry for the less than entertaining post....
3 comments:
I remember my friend , Dana , getting a speeding ticket on her way home and she real DID have to pee. Poor girl was in major pain and the cop still gave her a ticket even though her father , who was a passenger , verified she was in pain and just needed to get home.
My friend , Tina , got a ticket a few months back and she was rushing home with the shits. The cop followed her home and let her go in to the bathroom while he wrote the ticket since she was close to her house anyway.
I imagine cops get alot of "I've got the trots" and "I have to puke" stories.
Go Elks! Woooo!
Fort....you know a KPD cop and should have used my name ~former teammate an coach!!!!!
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