Fort's Cancer Sux!!

To the Jerk-off middle aged man in the black Corvette from Indiana This morning....
Dude. Seriously? Ronald Regan Highway is down to one lane. Im merging with the rest of the sheep. We go, you go, we go, you go.....Its a pretty easy concept. I was ready to merge. The guy in front of me went, then the guy in front of you went, then I was going to creep in there but NOOOOOO.......you're going to buck the system for what? For one more space ahead? For real? Thankfully the guy behind you didnt take it as a signal for a eastbound RR highway revoloution and leave us ALL stuck in the merging lane.

We make it a few miles before we have to let the 75 traffic merge onto RR and you're ahead of me. I can see you. The problem with being an asshole in a traffic jam is that you cant speed off and escape the guilty conscience following you. I see the line of cars in front of you, one by one, take turns merging with the other bumper to bumper lane. Its the unwritten law of the character code that you obey. But you dont. Again. Again you speed up and throw another wrench into the flow.

Whenever I see a traffic jam, I always imagine that it took just ONE person with bad judgement or lack of moral character to unleash this avalanche of a traffic jam and you sir, are that person!

You might be surprised to know that my pissy mood actually started before I even saw Mr. Middle aged man in black corvette from Indiana......

You see, I was hungry when I left for work and was feeling a serious egg-deficiency. I love love love eggs and its been quite a while since Ive had eggs for breakfast. Now a BK Crossanwich is like, one of the greatest gifts you can give your palette, but it aint exactly tofu. So im approaching BK this morning.........fight it, fight it, fight it.....I turn. I need a sausage, egg and cheese crossanwich. So I go in, order the crossanwich, and while Im standing at the counter, I hear the guy ordering at the drive through ask for the same thing, but NO EGG!!!! Are you kidding? Taking the egg out of a crossanwich???? are you insane? Now you've just got a sausage sandwich.....why even EAT breakfast??? might as well be lunch or dinner!!!

So they finally give me my bag and I hurry out to the car and get going. By the time Im about to pull off Galbraith and on to regan, (Where I meet M.A.M.I.B.C.F.I) and I reach into the bag.....

"This is the most weak-ass crossanwich Ive ever gotten!" It was so light....no girth at all.....
I rip off the wrapping....
I GOT THE CROSSANWICH WITH NO EGG BY MISTAKE!!!! AAHHH!!!!!!
So this just royally SUCKS. So I go to work and Im telling Brent about my awful morning and the jerk-off and the crossanwich without the egg how this day was not starting out good.

But then I remembered the last time I predicted the overall quality of my day off of a breakfast sandwich and was terribly wrong. My senior year in college I ran into one of the guys on the rugby team while picking up coffee. He bought my coffee AND bought me a breakfast sandwich.....and we sat and had a lovely breakfast......and I walked out to go to class, and it was a BEAUTIFUL DAY......and I thought to myself, (I actually remember thinking this to myself) "I just had my breakfast sandwich and coffee paid for......This is going to be a great day".

And later that day I blew my knee out.

So then I decided that maybe the bad breakfast sandwich story meant that I was actually going to have a GREAT DAY, but it was just average.