To my faithful readership...

Please dont think that my attention to my new blog means Im breaking up with you. Its just that things have been slow and boring for the last few days and so I was inspired to create family blog....and not just my "mom & dad" family....and not just "grandma & Grandpa" family, but the whole FAM - "Great-Grandma & Grandpa Fortener" DAMILY!!

We used to get together every Christmas and those were some of my favorite memories. Mark Ewald, a friend of the family, who I would later buy office supplies from in one of my first real jobs, was always Santa Claus, and by the time I was in Elementary school, there were already twenty some great grandkids, so Ewald, er, Santa, would take over an HOUR calling out EVERYBODYS name.

It was never about the gifts, and when Santa called your name, you went up giggling becuase you knew what to expect....all the gifts could fit into your basic ring box, and every typically went home with some nail clippers, or a tube of chapstick, or if you were lucky, a pack of gum.

There was always a "Merry Christmas" Banner that was made from a dot matrix printer that probably took 45 minute to print....an "M" made of all little "M's"....remember those? How amazing we thought those were?

As the years went by, though, the "Sub" families grew and plans got busier and the Christmas Parties ceased. I started this blog to try and get everyone back on the same page, and updated with pictures of whats going on with everyone...its sad that there's kids who are in college or just graduating that I havent seen in forever! Many of them I babysat at one point or another!

So anyway, thats what ive been doing instead of posting to this blog for the last few days. I promise you! They'll be come great Halloween Party pics and of course, Stacy, Jami & I's (and the rest of the Fortener Ladies) Trip to "Scrapbook Mountain" in November.

Hold on to your hats, folks. Things are gonna get crazy!

So for those of you who give a crap, here's my family blog that Ive got started:

http://fortenerfamily.blogspot.com

Happy Tuesday!!!

WHO-DEY SUNDAY!!!!

Got to see the Bengals put up an impressive win over the Carolina Panthers....from all the talk, it seemed like NOBODY was confident they could do it!

Like a true classy Marshall grad, Eva puts one down at the tailgate..


Another self portrait - we spent most of the 2nd quarter waiting in the ATM line....then waiting in line for hot chocolate...during that time, the Bengals tied it up....and then went down a score...

Ritchie, Me, Eva & Kat try to stay warm:

Ok people! It was friggin FREEZING out there!! These guys had their shirts off?? Sorry I dont have any interesting stories from this weekend...it was eventful, fun and incident free. See below for the Friday/Saturday rundown...

Friday/Saturday at Indian Lake...

well, we only stayed with the in-laws till Saturday night since sunday we had bengals tickets...but we made sure to hit up the Tilton' Hilton friday night...Here, Diana and I ham it up for the camera...

I threw out the "Do a fake sleeping picture!"....aparently big John didnt get the memo....
I walked around Sassafrass point taking all kinds of pictures - The trees were beautiful!

The true highlight of Saturday was watching Michigan State pull off the biggest upset in D1A football ever, and my cousin Danny is a red-shirt freshman who went in the first half when the starting safety got hurt. This picture is taken a second after a crucial interception...i wasnt able to get a shot of danny playing.. everytime he was on I was grazing at the snack table. And by the looks of my recently protruding double chin, was for a good majority of the game...way to go danny!


My father-in-law was facinated by the "Hip-Bumps" of college football players and wanted to try it out with John...crisis averted...

Happy Friday!
Hope I didn’t throw you all in to a deep depression with yesterday’s post. There’s not a whole lot you can do for that occasion and a small tribute was the least I could think of. Now its time to get your spirits back up with this little gem my boss emailed me this morning with the following message: Chelsea and I were at Target Sunday and we noticed someone had rearranged the Smith & Hawkins duck yard ornaments. Naturally, Chelsea took a picture.

PS - some of you were asking when the new CIncy-Dayton Womens Rugby Calendar was coming out - its out..and here's a sneak peak at your favorite bald beauty in all of her splendor..just call me Mrs. June...if it encourages you to buy one, Im by far the ugliest of the group...order it TODAY at www.cincydaytonrugby.com !!!

So yesterday wasn’t exactly EASY, but we get by. Ang sent me the cutest little arrange of flowers in a Halloween mug. I took a picture but I keep forgetting to save it so I can post it. Take my word, its cute.

John and I went to Applebees to “Celebrate” and in an event of painful irony, the staff of 8 STRONG skipped to the booth next to us and sang the most obnoxious rendition of “Happy Birthday” to the little boy with his family. We just stared at each other, shook our heads, rolled our eyes and smiled. What else can you do, really?

I went home, crashed on the couch and fell asleep till 1030!! That NEVER happens!! Im not a napper at all. As a matter of fact, I intentionally DON’T nap, because, I disagree with the notion that napping makes you feel “energized” and “renewed” like all the magazines will tell you. If I take a nap on a Saturday afternoon, I am tired and bitchy for the rest of the day. It has the opposite effect on me. But I did nap, and when John woke me up at 10 30 to go to bed, I STILL fell asleep, which surprised me…

Now for the crazy dream I had.

We were on our way home from Urbana, after a visit with the in laws (we’re going up there this weekend) John is driving in front of me getting ready to turn onto the interstate (in my dream its not the exact same urbana roads) but I turn the other direction because Im going to stop by the Urbana library for something. I take a left and head up the hill toward the library. The library is at the top of the hill and there’s a spot right in front for my car.

Don’t ask me why, but for some reason I take one of our big dining room chairs out – maybe with the intention of sitting in it at the library? But then right before I go in, I leave it sitting out side of the library, kind of like others have left their bikes, only I don’t lock up the dining room chair.

I walk into the library and im only in for seconds when I think, “I shouldn’t have left that chair sitting out there, someone might steal it” so I walk back towards the front door and see some dude walking away with my dining room chair. I start to run, and by the time I get out in front of the library, the guy hears me yell, ditches the chair in an alley and runs off. I retrieve the chair, put it back in my car, and go back into the library.

When I come back out of the library, something is wrong with my car. The tires are turned like someone was in it and it just doesn’t look right. I pull out into the road and start to back up to turn the car around but the brakes are out!! Now Im flying down hill backwards towards the main intersection and I cant stop! I whisk through the moving intersection and see a woodsy area with small trunked trees…the kind that wouldn’t create much of an impact so I steer my car towards it.

(this is a great feat as though Im not a very proficient backwards driver in real life, yet in my dream Im doing it with ease, making split decisions going 60 mph…)

So I make a relatively soft landing in the brush and Im alive! My feet are in the air so somehow the car’s nose is shooting upward… I scramble for my phone to call John, he cant be that far away, and a group of onlookers rush to the car and it seems as though everything is going to be alright.

So I guess if I had to break this dream down, I would say that crazy $hit seems to happen to me at all times, but I usually land on my feet…sort of. John’s always a phone call away if he’s not right there, and Im never short of people running to my rescue, offering to help.

Either that or I have a suppressed desire to stunt drive cars. I don’t know.

PS - John just emailed me & we’re getting TWO FREE TICKETS TO THE BENGALS/CAROLINA GAME THIS WEEKEND!!!! So now its looking like we’ll head to the lake tonight and tomorrow – Bengals on Sunday.

WHO DEY!! HAPPY FRIDIZZLE!!

Happy Birthday, John Patrick, "JP"
October 19, 2003

Can you believe its been three whole years? I never thought this is how I would "celebrate" my child's birthday, and it just doesnt seem to get easier! Its still not easy and we think about him every day. But through everything, we have so much to be thankful for, and after such a stressful year, we've come out ok, and I like to think that he's looking down on us and keeping us sane through all of the hurdles. We love you so much and miss you everyday, and always wonder how our lives would have been different if we had the chance to hold you just for one more day.

A song to Celebrate my 100th POST!!!
I keep hearing about this Bob & Tom song - an Homage to the Solid Rock Jesus on I-75 and came across the lyrics to the song...(in response to the post below)

so without further ado:

(and PS - I know FIRSTHAND that God has a WONDERFUL sense of humor and Ive been happlily laughing at all the jokes he's played on me, so I am certian this, in no way is an abomination...ok...i dont really know, but its funny anyway...)

In southern Ohio, just north of Cincinnati
I beheld a vision, next to the expressway.
Was a 60 foot jesus, with his hands in the airlooks like he’s carved out of butter,just like at the state fair.
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Well you see him from the chest uplike he’s about to do a back flip,like he scored a touchdown
or maybe melting or about to drown.Well I’ve been to the state fair
seen a cow made out of corn cobs
Garth Brooks made of string cheeseand the virgin out of olives.
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Shipped in pieces on a flatbedstaring backwards was his big head
Driver stuck in traffic backups
desperately avoiding eye contact
Well don’t make no graven images.
That’s one of the 10 commandments
I hope the grading curve is kindly
You get to heaven with a 90
Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
Oh country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
Oh Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus
Oleo Lord.
Can’t believe it’s not Jesus,
Oh spread the word.

The following was given by a friend of mine who offered a guest sermon at a church this past weekend in Dayton. I felt it was worth sharing... Almost over the hump! Happy Wednesday!

Headlines! Headlines.....read all about it!

A rapist in Florida was pretending to be a cop.Also in Florida, a family is shot to death in their own car.Kim Jong II has nukes.Racial Tension is on the rise in the South.The President's approval ratings dip again.Buddies in Iraq killed within days of each other.Elephants are dying out.A Record snow in New York in October.AIDS is ravaging Africa.New Kindergartners smiling as they enter Dayton Schools.

WOW...that is the most important story I've heard in weeks.

There is still HOPE...there really is.Before I begin today with our message, I want to say it's so wonderful tosee everyone here, and to be back at Hope. I still believe in thiscongregation and all it attempts to do.

I was driving to work about three weeks ago when I saw a beat up, old VWBug with a bumper sticker that really resonated with me..."Be more like Christand less like Christians." I sped up to get a look at who was driving.It was a middle aged African American man...looked like a nice guy with aYankee Candle air freshener hanging from his rear view mirror. I smiled.I felt this sudden osmotic sense that I got him...I understood him.

Judgement had befell this man...maybe all of his life people had played the race game with him, that he had probably turned to church to be his protector...and he wasl eft to wonder, why do Christ's followers pick on me...pick on people???Makes nosense really. And I wanted to somehow say, "I understand...and it hurts."

You know, Christians in our country have hijacked that wonderful word. A word that once meant people would know you because of the love you would give to them. now it means a select group of people with a plan and designs for all other people.

I think the perfect analogy of what I mean awaits any visitor who drives down75 to Cincinnati. There is a spectacle there, the largest statue of Jesus in the Midwest, and maybe in the United States. The funny thing is Jesus appears to be drowning in this pool that lay in front of the Solid Rock Church,while the church itself sits proud and postured, filled with cars and dollars.I'm sorry, but I can't imagine that Jesus had any intention of people coming to a humungous complex with buildings for every purpose under the sun, where a fresh batch of judgement awaited all visitors. Where you dumped your last dime to get more air-conditioning and your personals truggle with salvation become a marketing scheme to increase the size of this monolith.

Jesus, with hispained face, drowning in the water.

They have lost the message of Christ. Forgiveness, love and understanding.Those things were never intended to be used as a way to make profits, andChrist himself said "make not my temple a place of business".

Walk into Solid Rock someday and you will see a coffee shop, a souvenir store, and a place to buy our own color specific Bible with your name in Gold Letters. What doest hat have to do with Christ's message? You got me. On the flipside, walk into that place of worship with heavy heart, and mind riddled with fear and guilt andfor a specific price, you can leave being a Born Again, and broke,Christian.

Jesus with an ache in his eyes looks out onto the fields of livestock and farmhouses.If you were watching the television the other day, you may have seen a real showdown about the upcoming elections. Now, I am not going to drift off into politics, because I don't think church and state really are meant to be mixed,but one of the Senators form a southern state, made a statement I couldn'tbelieve. He said, America will only find peace and grace when we elect ourfirst-ever Born Again President.

Have you ever wanted to jump into a television and say "Hello, are you stupid?"We HAD a born again President. He was a model of the Christian life andstill believes that all good can only come through Christ. If you read his book, oreven about him, he says his downfall as a President came from one sector of the American Public. You ready??? Born-Again Hypocritical Christians. His Name...Jimmy Carter. President Carter went as far as to say that the most self-righteous influences in this country are the members of the Christian Right.

This from a man who took every step in his life as a Born-Again,well-meaning Christian. Now, I'm not here to defend his policies, but this man, aging and weak, is still building homes for the poor, vaccinating children from foreign countries and attends church daily. I

f that isn't a model of Christianity,what is? I can't imagine Christ ever condemning a man who is so selfless.Oh and what about Madonna...you know the Material Girl herself. Like heror hate her, she recently adopted a young boy named David from thepoorest country in the world, Malawi, Africa. The country leads th worldin AIDS cases. More than 50% of the children there are orphaned. Theyhave very little food, clean water or clothing.

The childn's father was ecstatic to know that his son was getting out of this "hell" and into areal shot at a good life. Madonna says she will bring the boy back tovisit his home and family as often as she can. And what do you supposethe Christians had to say....check it out online...ShortTalkChristian.com a place to post your blog if you are a born again memeber of the Church of God had a field day with this one.

"How could an immoral Lady like Madonna be allowed to adopt a child anywhere?""Does Madonna realize that she is white and the child is black?""Madonna should be ashamed of herself for adopting an African baby, it's not fair to the child""is the baby Muslim? And is it safe to bring him into Europe if he hasties to Muslims?"and then this...."why doesn't Madonna adopt 10 or 20 children from AFrica, she has the money. One child makes little difference."

I beg to differ my Christian friend...it made a big difference to that one child. I'm sure that Jesus is up there somewhere thinking, alright, somaybe Madonna is a little obnoxious, but at least she's trying to help.

Lastly, I ask God to look at me in a different light than other Christians I saw on TV this summer. They were protesters standing outside funerals of our fallen soldiers in Iraq. They were protesting the fact that the United States tolerates Gays in the military.

None of these soldiers were gay, not that that even has a bearing on the preposterous behavior of these people. Quit usingthe word "Christian" to defend your prejudice and hatred. I'm sorry, but Jesus would never pick up a picket sign and join these people.

I believe this cheapens Jesus and all he stood for in his life.You know, Jesus Christ was always trying to make changes for the better.For the open-minded. For the weary, the lost and the rejected. He was aman with an open heart, a true sense of what could be , and the greatestexample of theword Love.Which brings me back to those kindergartners with smiles on their faces gettingready for school in Dayton.Take a second and think. Think of all thepossibilities the eyes of these children can see. Think of all theopportunities they have to make this place so much better. And think howwe can help them with their future. And, remember...be more likeChrist...and lesslike Christians.-

Josh Stucky

Of course I wouldnt leave you with out some "other" images I found online while looking for that shot of Touchdown Jesus...."Mechanic Jesus"...."Free Weight Jesus" and of course, "Vegas Jesus"....sad. For those of you out of towners, I pass this tacky monstrosity everytime I drive to Dayton & often wonder how many mouths that statue could have fed with the money spent on it..ugh. Without further ado...

Sunday thoughts...

Yesterday I started slamming hot tea before bed while I was working on starting the rugby alumni blog. I WAS UP UNTIL FOUR.....stupid stupid stupid. I did catch a cute movie - Jersey Girl....shut up. it WAS cute.

I did manage to do about three loads of laundry and mopped the floors - the list of things I DIDNT get done was longer....need to get the garage cleaned out. If you're interested in an entertainment center let me know and Ill post a picture.

The best thing about this weekend was that I FINALLY STARTED TO HAVE SOME EYELASH SPROUTS!!! I was starting to get a little scared that they hadn't started to grow back...but Ive got some nice little spiky eyelash sprouts around the five or six lashes that didnt fall out. Chemo Eyes begone! Whats interesting though is how eyelashes are TWO rows... top and bottom. It looks weird close up. But its exciting. Have a good week.

Im sorry. But Im going to have to use the word LOVELY...

It was a LOVELY fall day. Saturday was Waynesville's Sauerkraut festival, other wise known as the life threatening gauntlet of craft booths and the psychotic quest of women like myself, overdosed on pumpkin spice and harvest wreaths, seeking that ever important piece (or pieces) to add to their home. This picture doesnt quite do it justice, but someone, somewhere in this picture is getting shoved by some old woman en route to her next booth...

I went with Alisa on Saturday since our Rugby game got cancelled, and I called her minutes after her sister called to cancel on her yesterday, so it all worked out. My mission was to find something to "liven up" the kitchen, and Alisa wasnt looking for anything in particular, but was given strict orders from her husband..."No more wreaths."

Any time we passed a floral spray or wreath booth, I would yell, "Look away! Look away!!" By the time we were ready to eat, we came upon the rueben stand, and as we were ordering, I heard a guy standing next to the booth yelling at the crowd to buy some pop. It was my cousin David! I had forgotten his Young Life group always mans the Reuben stand. His wife Amy, was there too, working in the booth.

(Dave...did you get that hat from Grandma?? tee hee hee...) Ok im looking at this picture and my sunglasses look kinda stupid. They're kinda pointy on the ends and I didnt realize that. I dont like it. Maybe its just the picture. While we're on the subject of my fashion sense (or lack thereof) I have to say what annoys me are "boot cut" pants that dont quite cover the boot.

Maybe Im just living in some fantasy land where my friends have stopped calling me out, (dude, im in remission, let the verbal beatings resume!) but when john and I went to the David Sedaris thing Thursday night, I noticed these khakis ive been wearing are NOT Long enough....I dont do a lot of walking in front of wall sized mirrors - there were quite a few downtown - and i was MORTIFIED!!! I look JUST LIKE the people I see on the street and shake my head at. THAT was embarassing. For those of you have noticed this, please know that I have inded TAKEN NOTE and will be working on this.

Here, alisa and I pass out after we asess all the stuff we we came out with from our "Craft Gauntlet Run"....and we still had to get the car and drive behind the parade so I could pick up a shelf I had purchased and didnt want to carry....

I know you're on pins and needles waiting to see what I was able to accomplish with that kitchen corner huh??? Well, the one thing I fell in love with at the festival were the booths with the hanging, dried herbs...so thats the "theme" im going to focus on for the kitchen....the dining room will remain a coffee theme...

YESTERDAY....

AND TODAY!!!!!
...Also posting the lamp I got so my mom can see what I was talking about...

David Sedaris….awesome!
This was about as close as we were going to get...I was stuffy and didnt feel like hanging around for the book signing...and oh yeah...I forgot my book.

So we went out last night to see David Sedaris…as I was getting into Johns truck, I slid the front seat back for some leg room, and what’s sitting right there? A pair of women’s shoes….SIZE 8!! (im a 10) So I have to admit there was an immediate awkward silence, John denied everything, and we took off, trying to figure out when the last time someone could have left a pair of shoes in the car….oops! Sorry Kristen! I’ve been directing you to harass Stetson and all the while they were in J-Mac’s truck. But I liked Stetsons idea about E-bay so just keep pretending that he’s holding them hostage in the ATL….

Sedaris was hilarious. We had dinner at Nicholson’s across the street from the Aronoff and ran into Kat’s sister who was all, “Isn’t this a practice night?” I laughed hard. People are FUNNY!!! I was just playing around and took this picture of John – with the flash – and 2.1 seconds later one of the staff member’s had run down the aisle and was leaning into our row wagging her finger at me.
“Ooops! Sorry!”

I looked at John, “Well, thank God I was here to teach by example that flash photography is NOT permitted at the ARONOFF”
Then I took This picture of him with out the flash…what a hottie!
This was the embarrassing ending - I must not have been paying attention when we parked the truck but I forgot that we had cleaned out our garage the other day and put all the junk in his truck…and we never made it to RUMPKE! So we’ve just been driving all over with a truck full of trash….You stay classy, Cincinnnati:



Other than that, it should be a pretty unexciting weekend...if im not feeling sick - Ive just been a little stuffy for the last few days - Women play Western Kentucky on Saturday, & Sunday I want to head over to the Sauerkraut Festival in Waynesville.

I have a feeling where my cold may have come from...last night when we got home I commented on how cold the upstairs was...just wasnt right!! So this morning..its still freezing...I check the windows and one of them was WIDE OPEN on the other side of the blinds.

Not just a pretty face, folks.

John may want to stay home and watch the Bengals game on Sunday instead of joining the ranks of all the other men at the Sauerkraut festival, in a zombie like state, following the wives, carrying armfuls of arts & crafts..

Friday Question of the Day - WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK OF ALL TIME???

A day in the e-life of Stacy and Fort

Im just going to let this discussion speak for it self…this was an actual email exchange between stacy and I today that lasted over an hour…..

ME: From the brain of J-Mac….

From: McLaughlin, John [mailto:JMcLaughlin@JohnMorrell.com] Sent: Thursday, October 12, 2006 1:38 PMTo: Melissa McLaughlinSubject: Halloween

I know what I'm going as for Halloween. Picture this:
Full beard, short hair, top of head shaved clean. Ivy League t-shirt under tweed jacket (preferably with elbow patches). Eye glasses that are always worn on top of the head and never actually used for reading. Collected works of Karl Marx under arm.
What am I?
East coast liberal professor who's out of touch with Middle America.

STACY: Hes WAY to smart for you.

ME: Spoons is having a party…do you guys want to go? We could be sorority sisters….

STACY: when is it? Sorority sisters? Really?


ME: Its on the 28th…

Ohhhh…..LETS GO GOTH!!! Its easy, you get to wear black and slutty make up….perfect
*****this was an email that, for what reasons we don’t know, was never received by stacy, leading up to the following emails…continued…over the course of an hour.

ANOTHER ONE FROM ME:
Why no response? Don’t be so vanilla. If you don’t go as my Goth sister, J-mac suggested just getting a blond wig and fangs and going as ann coulter… Think of the scrapbooking potential!

STACY:
2nd time... when is the party?

ME: Dude. I emailed you that in my “goth” email.

STACY:
I took the liberty of cutting/pasting the email where you supposedly told me when the party is... Seriously, boldface the part so I can find it easier:
"Why no response? Don’t be so vanilla. If you don’t go as my Goth sister, J-mac suggested just getting a blond wig and fangs and going as ann coulter… Think of the scrapbooking potential! "
Did you tell me when you suggested we go goth? Or was it when you called me vanilla? Or the scrapbooking potential part?

ME:
For the 3rd time…(doesn’t that make you feel like a child? I think so) What…..about….Goth….. (throw your obsession with all things white and turn to the dark side for a night, will ya?) (I copy the email where I mention the 28th…and THIS email apparently for some reason DOES NOT MAKE IT EITHER…continued)

STACY: WHEN IS THE PARTY?

Me: Damm!tt!!!! its below!!! I sent it to you at 1:41 pm!! Geez louise!

STACY: emails me the following link:
http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?inviteId=PHYRCELXHHNVQPINXPDJ&li=iq&src=email&trk=aei6

ME: Ok. Now im laughing so hard im crying. I told you an hour ago. you must not be getting those emails. I don’t know what the fuk Is going on.

STACY: i'm thisclose to sending you a fax.

ME: Its on the f’ing 28th!!! Are you messing with me? Ive seriously sent you this information THREE TIMES….see below…. And read ALL OF IT…I Sent it over an hour ago…

STACY: i'm seriously not getting those emails or else i would have stopped asking you an hour ago.

ME: Ive got our costume: (a picture I cant post)

STACY: andy just texted me and asked if we could go closer to columbus for NYE. i told him to research it and get back with me.


Seriously. This is what goes on.

Desperately Seeking Decorating Advice!!!

Im sorry that Ive subjected you all to "Tacky Corner" (or the place in our kitchen where random junk like beer coozies, novelty beer mugs and tin baking pans are stored for all the world to see)...the corner of our home that I stare at, scratching my head, wondering how in the world we're gonna jazz it up. And by "we" I mean "me", because J-Mac could care less about it!...But its driving me nuts!!

I cant fall asleep and its 12:30 so Im going to post this and get it out of my head or else Ill NEVER get some Z's. Ok - so what you're looking at are two industrial looking shelving units that have NO BUSINESS in a kitchen. Im more than ready to take them down (they were in EVERY SINGLE ROOM...ugh), but I dont know WHAT to do with the space! The marble top table we picked up when we moved in to fill in the space. I think it works there, but if you have a better idea, it could potentially move into the dining room...

Im thinking about taking the shelves down & turning the table out ward and putting stools on either side so its like an eat in kitchen....but thats really not what the table is for and it might make it look worse)

(My dream is to win the lottery, and take out that wall and put a bar in a la Mom & dads kitchen, but for now I need some low budget options.)

If you have some suggestions, PLEASE let me know - or if you know someone who has a knack for this kinda stuff, could you kindly forward it along? Im SO open for suggestions! post here or email me if you have any ideas, or any potentional pieces of furniture or shelving/storage units that you think might work.

A big project that Id like to do is paint these metal cabinets (they're painted BRICK RED but they're in such good shape that Id like to just paint them...) Let me know if you have any sort of experience with this sort of thing, or if you know of a color scheme that would freshen it up...the appliances are black, the cabinets are metal painted brick red, the walls are ivory and the countertops are BLUE.....yeah. You try and make something work... I think it would MAKE a great project for an interior design class...

(oh...Alisa! Do you have Cara's email? Can you forward this to her?)

Signed,

Seeing Brick Red in Ohio

Im about to share a story with you that I wasnt expecting to post...

You might be wondering why my weekend wrap-up didnt involve a summary of the very first Cincinnati vs. Dayton matchup post-separation. Well, its because we lost, and I guess I was more a sore loser than I had thought....

Hey! Who's the bald dude out there during the women's game??? oh. thats me.

So here's the story: There's minutes left in this ass-whooping that we were on the receiving end of, and to make matters worse, its by a bunch of girls that were teammates for the last five years. Bitter Betty was emerging....I was getting scrappy and dirty.

Im in a ruck and its not looking good. The ball was too far from me to try and actually pull it back to my own team, so I was throwing my leg around, violently trying to just kick it out of play when, out of nowhere, Kristen takes her boot and drives her cleat into the top of my foot!

Ten years of team-matery, and this is how its gonna end?? I was so full of piss & vinegar at this point and that was the cherry on top what had quickly become the most frustrating and gut-wrenchingly emotional day of rugby ever....

Im a MESS at the end of the game. They do a two-team photo and im easy to spot...the salty, bad-attitude whiner in the back row, ball cap pulled so far down over my face that im literally unrecognizable. (there's me again at the bottom of this ruck...oh well, good ball placement if nothing else:)

so ANYWAY...I dont want to talk to ANYONE after the game and im pouting while at the same time feeling kind of embarassed that I cant hold it together...I wont the SPORTSMANSHIP award in high school for crying out loud!!! Im a GREAT loser, dammit!! So I just leave right away and dont talk to anyone.

So we head up to Cleveland & on the way home, Im telling Stacy & Casey about the incident. But they know me a little to well to let me get away with my "Why me" saga, and start probing further, as they both seemed suspicous of "my side" of the story...

"So Fort, were you WINNING the ruck?"

"No"

"So you were just violently & innocently hacking away at the ball and you didnt hurt ANYONE in the process?"

"NO! I wasnt trying to hurt anyone! I mean...well....I SUPPOSE that maybe I COULD have kicked her in the foot or the shin, but I WASNT TRYING TO"

So they both sort of smile and nod knowingly and finally agree that I probably deserved it, despite my innocent intenions...

So im still kinda bitter about all of it and this morning I get an email from Kristen:

"I’m still sore from Saturday. I have no idea if you are aware of this but right at the end of the game I was in a ruck and someone was trying to kick the ball out and they kicked my toe very hard (I’ve been having a lot of problems with the joint on my big toe – just went to the doctor’s Friday for it) and it absolutely killed me it hurt so much. So I stomped on the foot of the player that had just kicked me. Then I looked up and it was you. Ha ha ha."

So that settles it. I deseved every cleat mark apparently, and I made sure to forward that on to the suspecting schniebers...they werent surprised im sure...

Introducing...Mr.& Mrs. Andrew Santoli!!!

(Me, Stacy, Sarah, Andy, Julie & Alisa)

What a weekend...My rugby game vs. Dayton was over around noon, rushed home for a shower and a quick pack...headed over to Brimelow to watch the Wolfhounds play, wait for Casey and then it was off to Cleveland for a 4.5 hour trip. We had both played rugby so we went the whole way with no pit stops except for stopping at BP about 30 miles out of cleveland to change. First time I ever got ready for a wedding in a BP bathroom. It was exquisite!!

The wedding and reception was held at the Ritz Carlton in downtown Cleveland! So nice! Actual TOWELS in the bathrooms...(although it was rumored that Rory and Richard still found the class to start a towel "whipping" fight in the mens room) one of those deals. I told Andy that more laundry will be done for his reception than we've done in the last two months. Here's some hot mama's draped over the piano.


Let me guess what you're thinking. "A bunch of old OU rugby players get together for an open bar...certainly could lead to some debauchery, but they would definitley try to behave themselves and avoid things like shooting the boot in a five-star hotel!!!"....You'd be wrong though....Here...Kevin Reilly administers Rory's punishment for what I dont know...One might guess that drinking beer out of your shoe is SOMEWHERE on the Ritz-Carlton's forbidden list, but we never saw it:

Staples (a moniker given after a rugby injury warranted, well, staples in his head) comes over to check on David, Alisa & Stacy....obviously 7 hours of open bar service and 4 hours of breaking it down on the dance floor finally got to them....WOULD WE POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO PULL OFF A SECOND PHASE OF THIS RECEPTION BY GETTING KICKED OUT AND HEADING TO A BAR???

Of course we would!! Stacy, Alisa, David, Me & Sarah's sister Kate throw down a few more beers at the MAP ROOM. We look MUCH more awake than we really were.

And Last but NOT LEAST...
Mrs. & Mrs. Surly-Philly!!

Philly & Tammy traveled all the way to a Mountaintop in Maine for their commitment ceremony. Would I embarass them and tell you all how they met? You bet I would...these two found each other on a Xena Warrior Princess fan site and have been together ever since!! They've been loyal Cincy-Dayton & Now Cincy rugby teammates of mine for almost five years and I love them both dearly. Segal traveled with them and a what looked like an incredible feast was had with Philly's family - saw you opening the gifts - I want that jalapeno cornbread served in that big dish...its lovely!!

Have the awesomest Monday - and feel free to post any noteworthy details from either ceremony.

Friday Supplemental - (another Friday post below)

I just wanted to comment on Gray's Anatomy last night and the whole "Izzie Issue" im sure shes a nice person in real life but the character is getting increasingly more annoying with every show...the biscuts? Ok whatever works. Im all about that, but the standing still in front of the hospital for an ENTIRE SHIFT as she contemplates going back?

Let me tell you why the writers are stupid...Once in college a rugby teammate of mine was doing a project for, oh I dont know, sports med or something. She and her partner needed "Subjects" to test heart rates and blood pressure while standing still. EASY RIGHT?

NO! Its not! College was about the best shape id ever been in so as I walked over to the Convo patting myself on the back for doing this favor for her, and I stood there, still, for not even ten minutes I think, and I got flushed, sweaty palms, and damn near fainted.

So dont tell me that Izzy just stood there for an entire shift. Writers, need to work on making her less annoying.

They've finally tapped the PUMPKIN SPICE Cappuchino batch at UDF...THIS IS THE GREATEST FRIDAY EVER!!! (dont worry - cutting calories still....half capp. half coffee)

So - what are your thoughts on Gray's?

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Had what I hope to be one of my last rugby practices ever tonight...Game vs. Dayton Women this weekend then haul it over to Brimelow to pick up Casey and then its off to Cleveland for Andy's wedding.

John went to practice with me and helped out with some of the scrum stuff. On the way home we got into a discussion about Wendy's vs. McDonalds Value meal. Ive always been a devotee of the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, but McDonalds has really answered by throwing the double cheeseburger on their value meal. Im also a fan of ketchup and have you noticed they dont put ketchup on a Jr. Bacon? Only mayo. And the few times Ive asked for ketchup? No mayo!

(Yes, Yes, I realize im counting calories...for the record Jr Bacon is 370 & Dbl. Cheeseburger is 460!!!)

John also mentioned that the pattys were getting smaller on the Jr. Bacon and they usually just put ONE piece of bacon on the sandwich and fold it so it "Seems" like two pieces. But they're not fooling anyone becuase lately the bacon is getting rubberier and one bite and you pretty much committed to the whole thing.

We also both concluded that Wendy's must have instituted a new process in the Jr. Bacon assembly line: slamming it with a mallet. Are these intentionally smashed? Seems like it.

Ritz-Cleveland...are you ready for the 'Natti??

Also talked to Stacy on the way home...we were discussing our weekend wedding outfits.. I dont have ANYTHING appropriate for the Ritz-Carlton, so I may have to do a little shopping on Friday...who hoo!!! She was complementing herself on the outfit she chose, but then got deflated when Alisa said it wouldnt be fancy enough for the Ritz. I didnt have to even SEE the outfit before telling her that Im SURE it would be fine. Im not doing myself ANY FAVORS by encouraging my friends to wear anything FANCIER. NONE.

So I was glad she reminded me about that wedding... if not I probably would have had to pack my nicest jeans.

FYI - just so you can mark your calenders, We're having a Chili Cook-off on November 19 - Thats a Sunday and the bengals are AWAY that day, so we'll have two tvs inside, one outside, and a big ol bonfire in the back. Mark your calendars. Email me with questions or to let me know if you'll be contribuiting a dish in the contest...kelts: J-Mac will post details on the message board Friday. All are invited!!

FRIDAY QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Who's got the better Value Meal? McDonalds or Wendy's?? WHY??

Wednesday’s Rant…

First of all, the office no longer stinks...we had the doors open all day yesterday and theres only the faint smell of burning in the break room, or what my co-workers are now referring to as "Ground Zero"....

Well…where do I start. Ive got four words for my diet: “Suckety-Suck-Suck-Suck”…
I mean, Im still sticking with it, but after a motivated and successful first week, I did what I usually do and used it as an excuse bury myself in ice cream and take some well deserved “off” days from working out.

Its not cutting it! So today I tried to turn over a new leaf. When John got up this morning….he’s usually painfully respectful of my sleeping…(I actually wish he’d be louder and turn all the lights on) I asked him to leave his light on….closed my eyes and let the bright light absorb into my retina and tell my brain it was time to get up. It was before SEVEN! (I usually get up around 730 – and Im showered and out the door by 745) So now Im up, showered, dressed, MADE AN EGG SANDWICH, Unloaded and Loaded and STARTED the dishwasher, Caught about six minutes of the Today show and was at work by 7:30.

It’s a MIRACLE!!!

So I need to start making some more changes to this diet. Counting calories hasn’t really motivated me but Im definitely going to stick with it. Im going to have to bring another dimension into my routine. One that I ABSOLUTELY HATEY-HATE-HATE-HATE. Weights. But that’s a key element in a weight loss program…Im going to add the wrist weights to my walk and buy some cheapy 10 lb dumbbells and start pushing long reps to tone down a bit. I hate it. And Im probably going to have to suck it up and dust off that big blue ball that’s supposed to give you lots of “fun” exercizes…so far Its made for, well its not made for anything yet. This bridesmaid dress leaves nothing to the imagination when it comes to arms, and theres nothing worse than a fat bridesmaid’s flabby arms on display for all the guests.

More ranting…

Id like to see a collective effort on the part of society to start driving faster. And of course paying more attention. I almost got violently rear-ended the other day by someone who was speeding along Winton Road and didn’t see me sitting in the left lane waiting to turn left onto Cherryblossom. Im looking in my rear-view mirror and I see this car about 100 yards back. I assume its going to go around me because it seems the better option than hitting me, but I keep glancing…its closer….closer now…closer still….oh shit! I hit the gas and move up a good five feet as this asshole finally swerves to the right lane and barely misses me..
So what Im saying is that we collectively need to drive faster and pay more attention, except for this dill wad, who just needs to pay more attention.

Part of my new effort to wake up early involves a sincere attempt to start going to bed early….I CANNOT turn my brain off at night. Casey told me to start writing things down that are on my mind, but it never fails. Its always some hair-brained book idea. Last night, the idea that kept me up was a book called, “The Poor, Lazy, Liberated Woman’s guide to putting up drywall.” Im going to write a book on how one single woman could finish a basement….over the course of a year. It would involve baby steps…maybe the first month all that’s required is measuring….see? How hard was that? The next month involves buying 2x4’s….and dropping them off in the basement….rest another month! You deserve it. Putting 2x4’s into concrete would be big step….you get the picture? Just ease the person into the process. Theres no rush! Also, this way you spread out the cost of finishing the basement and it doesn’t feel like quite the financial hit. I don’t know If I want to go off just books from the library…Ill probably have John’s Dad help me out.

Also, If you steal this idea and I see this book at Barnes & Noble someday, Im going to track all my IP addressees and track your ass down, sue you, and use the money to finish my basement, sucker!!!

One more thing…I finally made it over to Stacy & Caseys yesterday to get my camera. Ive got the garage code because Im special and I had cancer. Anyway, as im coming out, its different from their last house….about 20 feet from the doorway (with the button) to the garage door. Hmmm….how do I get out of here? So I push the button and make a run for it, the garage door is coming down and Im feeling like im in one of those movies where the hero dives under the falling door and spares themselves. Well, as im ducking and sprinting under the door, my foot trips the laser-thingy and the garage door goes back up. Hmm. How am I going to do this?

Well, I have a college degree, so it was only a matter of time before I realized that if I punched in the code and hit enter again, the door would shut. Whats funny though, is that when I called Stacy to tell her about my near-death experience, she didn’t roll her eyes and tell me about hitting the code, she’s all, “Dude! You gotta JUMP OVER THE TRIP BEAM!!” …..um…OK! So then I tell her about punching in the code and she was all, “Oh yeah, that’s probably better.”

Happy Wednesday!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA!!!

Look at this cute kid! Hard to believe its been a year!! Here, Emma tries to figure out exactly why all the sugar is being offered right before bedtime, and more importantly, why everyone is taking pictures of it.

Yeah, I know..this kid is cute...and with those genetics, she'll be the next Flo Jo.

Annie & I spend some quality time...so cute!
Do these birthday cone hats ever get old? That's right. They dont.

Another year, another seasonal obsession with “The Bachelor”. What joy it brings to countless women to watch beautiful, talented women get shot down. This show is one of the few places we can partake in such a guilty obsession.

As I had mentioned before, I moved the TV in to what Im now calling the “Scrapbooking Room” or the “Blue Room” – Ive got pictures of that too that Ill try and post tonight if I can ever get off my butt and get over to Stacy’s and pick up my camera…

So I was really only half-watching the show while I was prepping my pages for Scrapbooking Weekend so here’s the main points I remember. This guy is an Italian Prince, which gives him about as much influence on world affairs as J-mac. Maybe less. The women are all gorgeous, and I must confess, the “hook” for me, was the beautiful blonde Texas “socialite” (that’s what they put under her name in place of a profession, which is the politically correct way of calling her a spoiled, ungrateful, stuck-up, self-obsessed, helpless, hopeless excuse for an American Woman. Did that come off as angry? I just want enough money for a new kitchen and a finished basement…dammit Xeloda!! Sorry, I get carried away sometimes.)

ANYWAY….The guy has to eliminate half of the women and I really didn’t have any real opinion on his choices with the exception of him choosing this girl. Honestly, I don’t think he really knows them all well enough yet and what the hell, its gonna be great for ratings….my guess is they’ll try to keep her on as long as possible because the Average American woman will tune in with the sincere hope that in some way or another, the little princess will get, for the first time in her perfect twenty-some years, a disappointment. Or maybe that’s just me.

I think it all started when, in the beginning of the show, they had cameras following the ABC people who knocked on doors and informed the bachelorettes that they were going to have to pack for Rome…..TODAY. They show Erica (the socialite) opening her front door, and what seems to be a foyer the size of a small gymnasium and looks like a museum behind her. All of the women were excited except for Erica, who seems smug in her interview. She explains that she really wasn’t surprised that she was chosen, because she just assumed that she would be a great match for a wealthy bachelor. Good on ya, Erica. Gotta love the confidence.

(Oh yeah...did I say she was ungrateful? I lied. She DID say how fortunate she was that both her mother AND her maid were there to help her pack. Thank Goodness for that.)

Then for the intro episode, she wears a ball gown and a tiara. Just to ENSURE that the guy knows that’s she’s ready for Princess-dom. I once tried to convince myself I was ready for a relationship with a guy in college and maybe more, because his last name was Fortman, and there really wouldn’t be much involved as far as a name change if we got married. He didn’t agree. I also once tried unsuccessfully to start watching the X-Files because a guy I liked was really into it. It pissed Angie off something bad (we were roommates with one little tv) and we got into a huge fight over the fact that I was going to watch X-Files and after I had her absolutely irate with me…I decided 15 minutes into the show that I really wasn’t into it. She hasn’t let me forget about that and its been 10 years.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah. So tune in every Monday to see if Erica gets her heart broken and sent back to Texas. I will be.

I wish they’d just stop making frozen entrée’s with peas in it. Its ruining a perfectly good Healthy choice meal ive got warming up right now…(IN A NEW MICROWAVE MY BOSS PURCHASED THIS MORNING….)

Sayanara. More pics up tonight…if you’re lucky…
What the HIZZY?? Im trying to post some pics of this girl and they're not posting...this blogger is weird sometimes. go to www.abc.com and search it yourself....

So yeah…I almost burned my office down today….

A few days ago I noticed (luckly by boiling water) that the microwave timer was broke. I came back into the break room after five minutes and the timer was still stuck on 3 min. Its just not moving anymore…its an old microwave. Anyhoo, I did what any responsible employee would do and posted a big sign (ok it was a post it note but whatever) that said: “STAND-BY NUKING ONLY – TIMER BROKE!!!!” How responsible am I!!!

So this afternoon I threw a bag of popcorn in there, and walked away, knowing that Id smell it at my desk when it was ready…no biggie. Well, somewhere in that three minutes, I noticed I had some UPS labels that needed to go out on some shipments in the warehouse. Flighty McSpacecadet picks them up for a leisurely 7 minute stroll into the warehouse.

As Im walking back, I see my boss pop out of the door WAY down at the other end of the warehouse (she’s a good 100 yards away screaming, “Did ya forget something?” Now, sometimes I take the golf cart when Im heading down to the shipping & receiving office but since I’m dieting and trying to burn calories, I opted to walk it. Im thinking, “No! I didn’t take the golf cart. It should be right there by you.”…..walk, walk, walk,…..”OH $HIT!!!!”

By the time I got up to the front offices, a sweet, lung piercing stench had filled the office (and the conference room where the owner was holding a meeting with six other people) and apparently the break room was filled with smoke.

My boss Karen has already speculated that I wont live this down, but as the silver lining seeker I have grown to become, I mentioned that “That microwave was a fire hazard and thank god I was here let everyone know just how badly it needed replacing.”

My lungs are burning. I think the smell is getting soaked into the walls. It may be Thanksgiving before the smell goes away. I wish I had my camera here so you could see the charred bag of popcorn.

All in all the experience saved me more calories than anticipated. A few from the walk plus the popcorn that I wasn’t able to eat.

Ok – it happened over an hour ago and the place still stinks.

Also – Ive got lots of cute pictures from Emma’s 1st birthday from this week but I left my camera at stacy’s….Ill have those pictures posted tomorrow.

SO TELL ME - What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever screwed up at work????